Monday, May 31, 2010
I'm going to have to add the 100 calorie Ice Cream bars to my "not allowed in the house" rule. Damn!
I'm not a saint of food austerity or purity. I still love my junky calories--but I've been careful to limit myself to one or two empty calorie snacks a day, totaling no more than 10% of my recommended calorie intake (and I shoot for about 5%). So, having been experienced no cravings when it came to the 100 calorie popcorn bags, sugar-free hot chocolate, jello pudding cups, etc., I thought the Skinny Cow Bars on sale at my local grocery store would be an excellent addition to my summer repetoire. Alas, I ate the entire box in three days. And, while i managed to limit myself to only 2 bars per day, I can assure you that I heard those bars calling my name from the freezer all day, every day, until they were gone...
You know, a sick part of me wouldn't mind a terminal diagnosis (one that leaves me able to eat), just so that I could eat an entire loaf of hard-dough bread covered with nutella! And then another one toasted with butter. I'd add a smiley face here, but it is true! There is always a part of me that wants to say, "Screw this, eat what you want, when you want it, and as much as you want!"
Which is why I keep going back to the idea that my maintenance will depend on daily consciousness. I hope that there are folks who can reach there goals and then just eat and exercise in a healthy fashion without having to stay vigilant. But I suspect that I am not one of those people. On the other hand, I have the example of my husband and his best friend. Both in their mid-40's, and both with a level of fitness that most men half their age don't have (their annual contest involves doing 75 chinups, 100 pushups, 125 situps and 150 squats in under 20 minutes). And these guys stay conscious and workout every day. So why should I expect it to be any different for me?
If I was one of those people who naturally controlled their portions and naturally enjoyed a healthy level of exercise, I wouldn't have joined Spark weighing in at 348 pounds... If I wanted to be a blonde for the rest of my life, I'd have to keep colouring my hair and using the right shampoos--it would take an effort, in other words.
Anyway, I was kind of maybe taking some things about my spark program for granted and the Skinny Cow experiment showed me that I'm still paddling the canoe upstream and I'd better keep working if I don't want to drift back to my old habits. Pity. Because they tasted goooood!