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I need to do better on my journey...

Monday, May 24, 2010

This is not the 1st year anniversary blog I thought I would be writing; in fact I almost forgot it was my 1st year anniversary. I only just finished eating dinner a little after 9 PM and why is that?

Don’t get me wrong I love my new job but I need to get “my act” together. I love my new job, everyone is so nice, it is a fun office but I can’t keep working every night till 7:30 to 8 PM every night. I need to get my butt out there no later than 6 PM. I have been so tired from the hours I have been keeping because I do go to the gym every morning before work, which is why I work till 6 PM. I am able to work flex hours so I can start an hour later to give me time to go home, shower, and dress and that is a big plus for me.

Leave no Sparker behind has become my way of thinking here on Spark people but I am afraid I am guilty of leaving myself behind. I think I just squeaked by on Friday with just Sparking long enough to do my minimal Spark Tasks for the day that Spark People sets up for us each day to do this or read that. Saturday and Sunday I did no more than log in, track my food and fitness minutes. It is so unlike me. I have been so tired, no exaggeration I have been in bed fast asleep by 9 PM. That is not good.

My biggest fear is that I will be doing a repeat of what I did last year. I screwed around for the 1st three weeks before actually started Sparking. I gained 3 pounds to boot during that time. I was thrilled with the weight I lost last year but I have lost zippo since then. I underwent so major personal issues including identity theft that really stressed me out. I had bouts of kidney stones as a result of the stress and then I came down with shingles. The shingles brought steroids, which I have been on and off since then. Tried talking my Doctor about letting me just take the least amount of days but since the end of March I have been on them and have to stay on them till the end of June. It will be back to the Doctor for re-evaluation to see if she will take me off the steroids. I stepped on the scale back in January and saw a 2-pound gain, after that I refused to step on the scale till I go off the steroids. I know I have gained but I don’t want to know how much or I know I will go off the deep end and then go on a huge binge.

I have been eating right and exercising right but I am not stepping on that scale. The old Yvonne would have just given into the steroids and “pigged out” until the steroids were over. I know me and I know that it is best I stay off the scale. My Spark Page says I am a work in process and I will admit I am not strong enough to jump on that scale, you can call me chicken and you would be right.

Despite my not jumping on the scale right now I have come far and I have learned a lot from the articles on Spark People and from its members. I am thrilled with what I have accomplished but I have oh so more to do before I am done. I try to give back what Spark People has given to me in the blogs I post. I try to share my knowledge and my mission is to get people to try new things or ways of eating foods. I think it is important we can incorporate yummy dishes in our food plans so we don't feel deprived while eating healthy. I try to write a Vegetable, bean, or grain of the week to do just that. I believe we should never stop learning.

I read an article in Spark People two weeks ago and it kind of sums up my philosophy here on Spark People. “A healthy lifestyle is a process-more of a journey than a destination. You can always learn more about nutrition, fitness, and even yourself that can help you be just a little bit better tomorrow.” In my blogs I try to do just that.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am sympathizing with you. I had gotten to the point that I finally noticed no one here was doing any housework except my hubby because I was on the computer sparking all the time. I realize at my age I am getting slower, so I am thinking how I can still be part of the Spark People Community without spending so much time computing. My husband, sweet as he always is, never has said a word, but he is almost 75 and we both need to take care of ourselves. I am trying to find solutions and so far I have come up with not receiving as much email. I will see how this goes for a while and then make other adjustments if necessary. I do hope you will consider other options for yourself. Please take care.
    2827 days ago
    First heard of Teff yesterday on Dr. Oz Show Fans SP team And here is Travelnista with thorough information on Teff. Wow you are amazing. Thank you. thank you. Thank you. emoticon
    2829 days ago
    Wish so much for you this year had been easier. I dont think you are chicken at all. I think that the scale is just a tool and it is more how you are feeling. At least I try to think that way. I hope once you see the Dr you will get off the steriods and then get yourself back to a Yvonne happy place. i am glad the job is good but agree you need to keep it to the 8hrs and have some time for yourself and what you need to do to feel strong for yourself.
    You will get there I know you are just too smart to stop know and go back. You can do it!!!
    Hugs and smiles
    Deb emoticon
    2831 days ago
    Take care of you! I understand loving your job and the people that you work with but you can't let it overcome you so that you forget who you are. Maybe you should see if one of your coworkers would like to become your walking buddy at lunch time or before work. I think that it may help balance things.

    Regardless of the struggle, you have come a LONG WAY and you are an inspiration to us all!

    Keep it up and Happy Sparking for your wonderful journey!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2832 days ago
    Take care of YOU, Yvonne! emoticon
    2832 days ago
  • KARVY09
    We love you, Yvonne and I know you are eating right and exercising. Steroids can be a real bummer and it's NOT YOUR FAULT. Celebrate all of your successes. You are an amazing woman and motivator.

    Happy Sparkversary!
    2832 days ago
    You are definitely NOT a chicken for not stepping on the scale! You're the opposite actually. It's taking courage to not step on the scale because if you do, you know you'll spiral downwards. That's taking courage. You're doing what you need to in order to keep that from happening. Way to be strong!

    Instead, you're focusing on your healthy habits. Eating right and exercising. That's great! You should be proud of yourself emoticon

    Take a second and analyze your day. See why it is that you can't seem to leave work at a decent time. See where you can make some changes. You've been hit with a lot of things this year and you've been dealing with them beautifully. Keep up the great work!
    2832 days ago
  • MTNHIKER1971
    You've had a heck of a year with all of the changes and unexpected drama that seemed to hit all at once. It's easy to be really hard on ourselves and get discouraged. One thing for sure, you motivate and inspire us and we are your personal cheering section. Thank you for all that you do and keep your chin up. I can't wait to see where you will be this time next year.
    2832 days ago
    Yvonne, you are always supportive and motivating which is why we all love you and your blogs. But take the time out you need for you! Get well and get settled at work and find your new rhythm. i keep really long hours at work too and I've found it's easy to do if you don't have plans. So I strongly recommend finding something to do after work that you don't want to blow off, like a new exercise class, meeting friends, etc. It's much easier to change your plans if it's just you and doesn't affect anyone else.

    As far as the weight gain, this is supposed to be about healthy habits, not necessarily just about the weight loss. So if you are still keeping up a healthy lifestyle, you are still winning, even with a few extra pounds. Just keep in mind the things you can do now that you couldn't do last year. And remember that steroids and stress all cause weight gain, but once you're rid of both, you'll start seeing the results of your continued healthy living!

    I think you're doing great and I know you will make the progress you want to see as soon as you get into the rhythm of your new life!

    2832 days ago
    I don't think it's chickenly of you to stay away from the scale right now. Not at all!!! In fact, Yvonne, I think it's downright smart. If you know your tendency would be to binge after an unfriendly scale check, then why on earth would you risk it? Why invite a trigger into your world? Nope. You are doing what's right for you. And included in that is your amazing attitude and percerverence. Nothing can be achieved without persistence. Oh, and as for the lovely quote you had at the end, it reminded me of one of my favorites:
    "The journey itself is home." ~Basho
    And I believe it!!!
    You are so wonderful, always providing great info and helpful tips. I love your blogs that encourage us to take care of ourselves. Time to take your own advice. Stop giving yourself so little time, and TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!
    2832 days ago
    Yvonne there's time that we fail because we just given to our cravings and then there's those that work to much and can't put the exercise time in as they would like.

    You have always been motivated and determined to meet your goals and help others that are in the same shoes. I believe you are that same person nothing has changed.

    You just happen to have a minor change in your life that involves a new job outside of you home. I can honestly say that even though you were working(out) of your home you did not take it for granted.

    You had the best of both worlds and you still do working that shift is just the same. It's a minor adjustment and you will get back on a routine that won't interrupt your daily plans.

    Give it sometime you are a Female, you are Fabulous and you are Fierce (A Warrior) emoticon

    I think you have done so much better then I in eating habits, work-outs and determination, You are definitely my role model. Just a little note if you fall down don't worry you will get up or all your Spark friends will help you up..

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2832 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/25/2010 12:23:16 AM
  • WILLOW49
    I'm right here with you Yvonne. Did very well last year, but since Jan. have lost and gained the same few pounds. My health has changed, and I know that is what has made the difference. Let's work together and march forward on our journey! We can do it!
    2832 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    emoticon congratulations!!!
    2832 days ago
    It sounds like you need the help of family or friends for awhile. Maybe a workout partner for in the morning or right after work. That might help motivate you to get out of work on time. You have to think about your health and fitness. Your job can be great, but if you don't find a balance it is going to make you unhappy in the end. The good news is you can totally do this! It'd be much harder if your work place was terrible or you hated your job.
    2832 days ago
  • DS9KIE
    So don't jump on the scale, with all the stress then illness and your still doing good.

    You should be proud of yourself, because when stress stuff happeneds that is when you could easily go back to the old ways and you haven't, it sounds like your doing great eating right exercising and a new job to boot?
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2832 days ago
    You say you need to do better but I think you are doing GREAT and I look forward to everyone of your blogs to see how you are doing. Remember, this isn't a race! Everyone of us is going to move at out own pace, micro-pound by micro-pound with advances and setbacks but the true measure is those of us that keep the going week after week, day after day and even minute by minute for many of us. You are doing great and you will continue to do great!!!!!!!

    I believe in you!!!!!
    2832 days ago
  • DAVIS031
    Great post.
    It seems like you are still on track to me!
    Great job on not just giving in, which I know is tempting.
    Here's to a great tomorrow! emoticon
    2832 days ago
    I'm right there beside you being a chicken.
    Sshhhhh don't tell anyone but I went to the Dr's today and in one year and one month I ahve gained 13 lbs. It's not what I wanted to report eaither. I Am trying to do better. I joined a gym. Am eating less. I can do this.
    It's ahrd. At mya ge it is.
    Best of luck to you.
    2832 days ago
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