I buried a box
Sunday, May 23, 2010
This thing of a healthy lifestyle reaches farther than just losing the additional person that I've been packing around all these years.
There is also the mental baggage that I've been packing around. The years of growing up and being painfully shy in school. The mistakes that I thought that only *I* experienced. The first "love" that wasn't love at all, but lust and ended badly and affected me for many years. All my "stupid" mistakes that I've made over the years. The rejections from different people for different things.
I decided to do something about it. I thought "OK Ed, you have finally made the decision to improve yourself and it's time to take it to another level."
So I "bought" a mental box and started extracting all this baggage that I've been packing around. I went thought the closet - through the attic - and dug in the basement. I stuffed all this junk into that box and headed out into the woods.
While there, I "dug" a hole. A deep one, not a shallow one. I threw that box in and covered it up, enjoying each shovel of "dirt" that put it where it needed to be. When I was done I scattered branches over it and walked away.
My history, my experience, my past help form the ME that I am today. There is only one of me in this world and will never be another one just like me ever again. I am losing my weight, and now I feel lighter because I dumped the mental baggage as well. I don't know where it's buried and I don't care anymore. I'm NOT going to go back and dig it up again. If I head towards a shovel, I'll grab a dog leash instead and go for a walk.
We need to remember just how special each and every one of us is. Don't be controlled by things in the past. You can't change them no matter what they may be. Life has so much to offer and it's good to look forward to all those things that you are experiencing now and in the future.
Like I have said before - this road isn't easy or simple. That's fine by me because I don't want to get boring! I WANT a challenge! I enjoy my "home base" but I'm up for change as well. I know that it's not going to be easy, however I have the strength and conviction within myself and we ALL have that power.
Bury the past and all those negative thoughts. Go out in this life and make it happen. You can do this!