Sunday, May 23, 2010
Sometime in the last few weeks I must have tumbled through the rabbit hole with Alice and, as the Red Queen explained, I have to go faster and faster just to stay in one place. I've done my cardio and weight work, watched my food intake, and the scale just keeps boincing back and forth between the same 3 lbs. I can handle staying here at this weight. I have clothes that look good (or, more importantly, that make ME believe that I look good), my blood pressure, resting pulse and cholesterol are good, and I'm proud of my muscles (and vain enough to be thrilled when anyone else notices them). But I can't stop myself from thinking "I'm doing everything right and not losing, if I slack off, even a little, HOW BIG WILL I GET?"
I remind myself over and over that success is the process, that people don't love me--and I don't love them--for a number on a scale, but the Red Queen is still tugging my arm and yelling "faster" over her shoulder.