Thursday, May 20, 2010
I'm convinced the last thing the American woman needs is another list of things to do and pressure to get them done. I am feeling like my goals are extra baggage I am carrying around and do not necessarily add joy to my life - even when "accomplished". That's interesting.
Some of my goals are old goals that don't necessarily fit my idea of what I want for my future and what is it that I want for my future? And do I really want to be spending so much time thinking about the future and missing the beauty in the moments now???
"They" all say that you must put a date, a timeline, to your goal - but I have rarely met any of the "dates" I have set on a timely manner but that doesn't make me unsuccessful in any way. It is discouraging, it doesn't actually motivate me, and it stresses me out. You know sparkstreaks just doesn't work for me. Even when I do it and get rewards for doing it. I don't go crazy with the price is right winner's dance. I guess I need more intrinsic motivation. I have found however that a reward to look forward to that really matters (that is truly a reward) attached to that date tends to work better for me. Finding what that reward will be (that's affordable and worth it) can be challenging. Also, why should I wait to accomplish something in order to be rewarded??? Isn't the activity and joy of the moment's activity reward enough???
Yup, it's one of those mornings where I am Miss Philosophical and questioning it all. I am looking to learn to live in a more balanced, peaceful and joyful state and I truly don't want to be the person who goes all GUNG-HO to "accomplish" something and is so obsessive compulsively busy. YET, I honestly don't have much experience with that - "Accomplishing" something without concerted push, effort and prodding. I am yo-yoing right now back and forth between - push and love, push and love.
Ok well, that's enough for now. I don't have to have all the answers this moment in order to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I think this is the point. I am learning to just take leaps of faith. I am learning that when things don't work out the way I envision them - it's normally for a very good reason in the grander scheme of things and I don't need to know in order to trust in it.