Why can't I stay out of my own way
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I have never blogged before in my life. Everyone keeps telling me it's just like writing in a journal but you can share it with other people. Let me set the record straight, I have never written in a journal either. I'm usually not one of those people who has to get all of their feelings out, but I am starting to come to the conclusion that that could be why I eat constantly. It's a way to cope with everything I have inside. Well, I don't know if anyone will ever read this but I think I need to do this for myself...so if anyone is out there reading this, I hope it helps you as much as it will help me.
TOPIC OF THE DAY...ADVICE
I feel kinda ridiculous even saying this, but I am an amazing advice giver. Now before you judge let me tell you that I have been told this at least 20 times by different people. For some reason I can look at a problem or situation in someone else's life and see a new perspective, figure out a solution, and communicate it in a way that people really "get". The reason I bring this up is to get to my next point. I am a horrible advice taker. I don't know if it's cause I think I know it all already or what but whenever people tried to help me in the past i have always rushed to the defense and made excuses for why their advice would not work.
Now you would think if i'm so great at the advice giving I wouldn't need so much help myself right...wrong. My biggest problem is that I cannot (or will not) take my own advice. I can tell someone all day long how to run their life and be the best motivator in the world but when it comes to my life I just run into a brick wall. Sometimes I feel so stupid, when I find myself trying to make up excuses to tell myself...absurd. It's like I'm trying to sabotage myself because I don't think I can really do it. It's like when people with low self-esteem go on the defense and shoot people down before they get shot down themselves. Why do we lie to and cheat ourselves? I expect everyone else in my life to respect and be truthful to me, why do I not expect it from myself. I have never fully understood that but maybe the fact that I'm acknowledging it will help.
I don't know that I resolved anything here today but I feel like the admission of it might get me a little closer to becoming the person I would like to be. I'm trying really hard to learn from my mistakes and also from other peoples mistakes and accomplishments. When someone says "hey this worked for me" I am bound and determined to at least give it some serous consideration. You can learn alot from other people and I think that's my first hurdle to cross...well that and to put down the cookies.
Until next time...hope you all are doing well and know that you can accomplish anything as long as you stay out of the way. Tiffany