Sunday, May 09, 2010
This is my very first mother's day!
My wonderful son is 6 moths old. I am a SAHM and I work very hard at it.
I was very much looking forward to today...but I have spent much of the day crying.
It all started yesterday with a tiff with my husband (about how difficult this program is and how well I am doing and how I need him to support me and not accidentally sabotage my efforts). Nothing HUGE, just residual tension and umpleasantness this morning.
Then, we went out for lunch (but not in honor of mom day...we always go out for lunch at the same place on sundays).
Then he stops the car on the way home at a grocery store, tells me to stay in the car, and comes back 20 minutes later with flowers...and a CHOCOLATE BAR! I was so hurt.
First, by the fact that it was just an afterthought on the way home to pull over for flowers while I waited in the car, and second, how could he buy me a chocolate bar???? he is not the type to sabotage me on purpose...so what then, he just doesn't give a sh*t?
Now, if you knew my husband, you'd understand why this is such a big deal. He is NEVER a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kinda guy, he plans EVERYTHING, always mulls over every detail and pays such close attention...it just seems that none of said attention is ever pointed at me.
We live a pleasant day-to-day life, which is more than some can say I know, and he is kind and polite with me, and can be loving, but for the most part (especially on any kind of holiday), I feel like an afterthought.
And that hurts.
And no....I did not eat the chocolate bar.