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    SPARKGIRL32   30,189
SparkPoints
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Where do people get their manners?

Thursday, May 06, 2010

haha..so I was working out today..and this really irks me because I know so many people who do not want to go to the gym because they are afraid of being judged..I decided to REALLY push myself today (and when I REALLY push myself my face gets SOO red--always has my whole life--even when I was "thin"). After going on the treadmill for a brief warm up, I decided to go on the elliptical for 32 minutes (what was leftover of my 40 minute daily requirement) and REALLY work it...get some stress out...you know how it goes...

Well the ellipticals are right in front of the strength training equipment and there were two late high school (maybe early college) girls standing there and I saw one of them just like blatantly staring at me and then say something to her friend. Then her friend turned around and looked at me with "the look"..clearly they were saying something about me being either overweight and working out or me pushing myself too hard for being as big as I am (it wasn't a "wow--I wish I could do that" look--it was a "I'm making fun of you right now" look). haha. I just smiled... Old me would have been embarrassed and discouraged...NEW me smiled just thinking how big of brats these two girls were.

But it does bother me, because I know this is the type of thing that discourages people (some of my SparkFriends even!) from going to the gym and really having a good, sweaty workout. And I don't blame people for getting discouraged, I used to be as well. Then I realized that there is ALWAYS going to be something you are self-conscious about and people are ALWAYS going to feel entitled to judge you. I say...judge all you want...because I'm FINALLY happy with who I am...and it's because I don't let people's judgements hold me down. I AM a good person with a good heart that genuinely wants to help people...what does it say about them if they just want to tear people down? It says that the jokes on them! haha..they can have fun searching for their happiness..but I have a feeling they won't be finding it soon! :).

The truth is, I'm WAY happier now at 175 than when I was 125 pounds...which is further proof that your weight won't buy you happiness. Honestly, I don't even think losing the weight is even what makes me happy...it's the feeling of accomplishment...the feeling you get when you step on the scale and your hard work pays off..it's addicting!! Sure, all the compliments are great..but I also think it feels the best because people NOTICE your hard work...which feels good, no matter what it is they are complimenting!!

I can remember being 125 (I have a medium build and am 5' 3'') and wanting to be OVER TEN POUNDS SKINNIER...and thinking that would be what makes me happy...how ridiculous!! And I would have never realized how ridiculous that was if I didn't join Sparks and realize how outrageous the expectations society sets for young girls are. For example, I was on a site the other day...most of the people we look up to for our weight goals (celebrities) are between 95 (Kelly Ripa)-108 pounds!! Personally, according to my body fat %, at 109 pounds I am at 0% body fat! And there were honestly times when I wanted to weight 112...ridic!!

Oh and another question...if you aren't going to really push yourself at the gym and utilize the equipment to your maximum ability...what's the point of paying for a membership?

Just sayin'!! :)

Officially down 22 pounds today :)

Before pic is from March 10th or so, after is from May 6th!
I use the same shirt for all my pictures :)
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAASHA17 5/7/2010 12:23PM

    way to go girl!! reallyy glad u took it positively...people can be weird...i remember a friend's skinny wife commenting on how i wouldnt be able to bike for 16miles...Its such a weird thing that people feel that if ur skinny ur healthy and have this amazing stamina...she was literally out of breath and faint after 0.5miles and it wasnt even the hard part. her hubby had to stop every 5min for her...and me and my friend (both of us are overweight but do the elliptical regularly) just breezed through the whole thing (i mean it was tough but we did it)...man was that a good feeling..

anyways what i wanted to say was u didnt let it get to u and stop doing what you were doing...9 pointers on elliptical is awesome..u go girl!!1

have a nice weekend
manasa

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ZANNACHAN 5/7/2010 12:13PM

    Wow, you're looking great! You're doing a fantastic job!

A part of me cringes when I'm in situations where people might judge me, I confess, and that part of me is very uncomfortable in public venues--not just gyms. But part of me is also aware that when people belittle other people like that, it really says more about them than it does about me--because the only way they can feel good about themselves is by putting other people down. I think you handled the whole situation very well.

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EPOLLEY06 5/7/2010 12:13AM

    You look fantastic! After having my baby that realization of how good I looked when I was at my thinnest really hit me. I wish I could go to myself back then and tell my skinny self to stop focusing on the cellulite, and this pinch or that I wanted to get rid of. I looked amazing and I never thought that back then. At 19 years old I was 119 and 5'6. And I remember think - just a few more pounds, on more than one occasion. That's why since having my daughter I have been hyper-focused on making sure I'm not calling myself fat or pointing out what I perceive as flaws anywhere near her. I don't want her to ever think I have those negative thoughts like that about her or about how she looks, so I need to be sure and be the example of how to treat myself positively.

Sorry this is going on and on - just wanted to say that I totally agree that we put too much on ourselves when we're young. We really don't appreciate what our bodies are capable of.

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LETMEBME 5/6/2010 10:42PM

    Great blog and great attitude! Keep doing what you're doing 'cause clearly it gives results! Just look at your photos! I can really tell a difference in your boobs and your shirt looks so much bigger now. Way to go!!!

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KISSYTINA 5/6/2010 10:38PM

    Great Blog! And, you are looking fantastic!

I hate that people feel the need to judge others. I can only say that they must be SO insecure about themselves if they have to judge others just to feel better. Those girls will never be as happy, or as beautiful, as you!

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BLAIRJ1 5/6/2010 9:38PM

    I love this. I am one of those people that gets down when I know people are making fun of me. You totally put things into perspective. Thank you! And...you look great!

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SPUNKYDUCKY 5/6/2010 8:51PM

    Happy to hear that you are happy with yourself! Those girls were brats!

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JCDROLSHAGEN 5/6/2010 8:49PM

    Well there have been rude people for decades but it does seem a little more prevalent now. Anyway the two little girls are probably facing their image issues so guess that they are just projecting to make themselves feel better. You are right to smile: you have wisdom and experience on your side and to top it off you will look great to boot. So the little ones can have their snicker but you will have satisfaction because of your hard work. Keep Sparkin on!!

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CPOTSKY 5/6/2010 8:30PM

    Oh honey you are so right. It is funny that you are speaking of manners because I am currently really trying to teach my 5 and 4 yo kids manners, lol! I also get so frustrated with people and their lack of manners but I am so PROUD of the way you handled the situation! You are someone to emulate! Oh and hey I also turn really really really red in the face and always have. I am sure there are people that want to call an ambulance on my butt after I get done with a workout, lol! You just keep on doing what you are honey and be PROUD of yourself. HUGS!

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CHRISSIENAPIOR 5/6/2010 8:06PM

    wow! i can see huge progress in your pictures! congratulations. and i totally agree with your blog! those girls might think they're all that right now...but just wait until they go to college and get a chance for that freshman 15 to creep up on them. they won't be laughing then!

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ANDI_3K 5/6/2010 8:04PM

    Manners have gone the way of the dodo. People who have them are a rarity and they got them from their parents - who insisted on them, and enforced them. People who mock others likely have self esteem problems or other issues...and their comments are more a reflection of them than of their victims. Good for you for not letting them get you down.



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DLEE27 5/6/2010 7:35PM

    Good for you for not letting them get you down. It's really unfortunate that so many people feel the need to judge and belittle. Personally, I think it has a lot to do with jealousy. They see you busting your ass to reach a goal and that's intimidating because so few people out there are working hard to better themselves.
Keep rocking girl!

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TURTLERAE55 5/6/2010 6:34PM

    Your up bringing starts at the home from our parents. I feel what you are saying. I would of ask do you know me? haha and keep on working out.

You did great.

Keep up the good work and just keep on doing what you're doing.

You do girl!!!!

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