Tuesday, May 04, 2010
I've been feeling pretty crappy about my body image lately. I was pretty depressed last month for various reasons and I let myself slip into bad eating habits and a lot of laying around. Now that I am feeling better and back on track I am so disappointed in myself for doing that because I am seeing and feeling the repercussions. I put on the two pounds that I lost, plus a few. I am dreading looking for a wedding dress at the end of the month, and attending friends weddings this summer.
I felt decent about myself yesterday, but when I woke up this morning and had to get dressed I picked out something 'comfortable' that I thought looked okay, but would get me by for the day of hiding in my cubicle. I woke Kyle to say goodbye and he said, "honey, I found you." I asked what the hell he was talking about, thinking he was in a sleepy stupor, and he said, "you look like Waldo." I immediately changed into a "slimming" black shirt, again, nothing that anyone would notice me in. How could he not think that would hurt my feelings? If anyone knows that I am having a rough time right now it is him. I don't want to look like a boy in a knit cap. To his defense he said, "well, Waldo is really skinny. I meant you looked cute." ARGH! I don't get it. That sweater was featured in Elle, or InStyle or some fashion magazine, it is so NOT Waldo. But I still changed.
I just want to feel good about my body. Just once.
I know a negative attitude doesn't help, but I don't know how else to feel today.