My current struggle...
Sunday, May 02, 2010
I think people really develop patterns in life. Patterns of behavior and habits. I have a "diet" pattern. I change my lifestyle, add exercise, start eating healthier, etc. I typically last about 3-4 months. Sometimes a little more sometimes a little less…
Well, this time, I have not stopped. It is the beginning of Month 5. I am definitely facing that point in the pattern where I typically stop. This time is different. I still login daily, I still drink my water, I still plan my food for the day, I still check in to the message boards to keep up with everyone. I truly think of this as a permanent lifestyle.
But my exercise has slowed to a crawl. Strangely, I love exercise. I love my morning walk. I love the gym I go to. I love how I feel when I have worked out hard. I love how my body feels when I strength train. But, I have almost stopped completely. 2 weeks in April I did no exercise. The other 2 weeks I did minimal.
I feel like I need to know why. I plan it. I intend to go. Then when it is time, critical part here..... I tell myself I can do it later. Later sometimes happens, but rarely. I know with the gym and strength training, as much as I love it, I did go too fast. I hired a personal trainer and I was making progress so fast, we changed up to work on my "endurance". I was wasted when I was done. The weights were higher and I could barely do the 6-8 he asked for. That is when I started telling myself I needed a break.
Then the walks started to become optional. Oh, I will do it later in the morning between meetings. Oh, well, I can walk after work. Then 4 or 5 or 6 days go by and no walk. I love to walk. I love the cool air in the morning. At this time of year, I love listening to the the birds while I walk.
So why am I letting this happen? I feel like I should know why this is my pattern. But does it really matter? Do I just attack this like any other problem in my life and look for tasks, small steps to get over this? I did go to the gym this week. I told myself no pressure. Just go and do the fun stuff. Leave when you want. A little is better than none. I was there an hour. Maybe that is the answer. No pressure, just do something. I can work on continuous improvement later. Right now I just need to get moving.