Thursday, April 29, 2010
I have been back on track since April 4, 2010... or twenty-five days.
It was a long road to finally getting back on track. I had become so obsessed with my weight loss. I spent a lot of time trying to make sure that I was always on track and doing everything "perfect". I was convinced it was an all or nothing situation. So when life got so busy and I didn't have time to devote 100% of my time and effort to my journey, I just quit trying. That was back in April 2009. I put my weight loss journey on a back burner and began to regain my life back. I found my confidence, met the love of my life, and starting enjoy life again. I was able to maintain my weight loss through the summer and fall. But when winter came around and the cold set in and the holidays started to roll around, the weight started to come back on slowly... but definitely steadily. I didn't notice until I had gained back 15 of the pounds I had already lost. And I didn't really get control again until another 5 pounds had jumped back on.
So... there I was, 20 pounds higher than I was a year ago and not too happy with myself. I knew I had to take action before I put back on the full 57 pounds I had previously released... I knew that if that happened, I would be completely devestated. Plus, I'm recently engaged... and everyone knows that a girl wants to look amazing on her wedding day, right? So I gave myself the swift kick in the ass that I was needing. I started my search for a gym and found the perfect match. It's small, but not too small. Has the equipment I need, plus has classes! It's only $21 per month and the people there aren't all fake. It's at a hospital so it's more for physical therapy and people who really want to get healthy. I really like it. I joined on April 4 because it was a Monday at the beginning of the month. I started going to the gym every day after work Monday through Thursday for at least a half hour. I'm working on incorporating strength training into my workouts. I do yoga and pilates on Tuesday. I really am learning to love working out again and it is definitely becoming a habit. Who would have thought I would learn to love exercise?! As for the nutrition side of things, I am doing really good. I try and stay in my SparkPeople range Monday through Thursday. I've been doing a great job... and I don't let it get me down if I have small slip up. I mean, this is life and I am still going to have to go to work dinners, etc. and I'm still going to want to go out with friends and have fun. It's just a matter of learning to make better, healthier options.
Now you may be asking me... what about Friday, Saturday, and Sunday? Well, I am still in a long distance relationship and weekends are spent traveling to see him or him traveling to see me. During our small amount of time that we do get to see each other, we try to be very good. We normally don't work out those days, although sometimes we do work in a workout on Saturday. I have been making us meal plans for the weekends. I allow us one meal as a cheat meal during the weekend... and we try very hard to not let it be a cheat day. We still go out and have treats sometimes that don't necessarily fit into my meal plan, but it is much better than what we were doing in the past. I try my best to stay under my BMR+activity calorie calculation that Spark gives me during the weekend. I am definitely getting better! Over these last twenty-five days, I have lost about 3 pounds and lost 5 inches throughout my body. Definitely making progress... slow and steady wins the race!
I have learned that this is not an all or nothing journey. This is a journey of give and take... learning what are the best options for me and my life. And that is what I am doing. I don't have to be perfect 100% of the time... which is definitely a different idea for me. I am a perfectionist to the core... I don't do anything unless it's perfect. And if it's not perfect, I will continue to work at it until it is. And in the worst case scenario, if I can't make it perfect, I won't do it. But this is my life we are talking about. I have to do this! So even if its not perfect, I am still learning and still trying. I will continue to work at this day in and day out. If I make a mistake, I will learn from it. If I do something right, I will try and repeat it in the future. I just need to remember to do better today than I did yesterday. And with the help of all my wonderful Spark friends, I will stay motivated and will not give up this time. As long as I continue to try, I will succeed! I will get to my goal and I will be the healthiest me I have ever been!