Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The last week was so difficult. I still can't believe my grandpa is gone. I keep finding myself thinking of things I need to tell him and reaching for the phone to call only to realize that it would be useless. I miss him more than I can even say. Immediately after his passing, through my tears, I held him and rocked him and told him that I was happy for him. My heart was breaking but I was happy for him because the pain was over, happy for him because he was with my grandma and other loved ones, happy for him that he is in paradise with the Lord.
The visitation was wonderful, a lot of great friends and family came to share happy memories. He was such a wonderful man. My husband created the slide show and 7 memory boards loaded with pictures of him. The funeral was meaningful., spiritual, sad and glorious all at the same time. We took him to the cemetery on Monday where he received full military honors. It was both beautiful and heartbreaking.
My mom and I have begun to work on all his final details. It's hard to do this because we haven't even had time to heal yet but we do need to try to get out of his apartment by the end of May. It feels like raiding a tomb and invading his privacy so I struggle to even go in there. It's a very, very hard but necessary task.
I got a call from my Dr, literally on the way to the funeral, with the results of my MRI. I have several problems in my knee:
-there is evidence of an "old injury"
-I have a sprained MCL
-I have "runner's knee" (no surprise there, man! I miss being able to run)
-there is a cyst and fluid build up in there
-most importantly, I tore my meniscus
I have an appt with the orthopaedist in the morning but based on what I read on Web MD, I think they are going to have to operate orthoscopically. We'll see I guess. It's not good news but it's not the end of the world either, right? Just horrible, horrible timing.
All in all, I'm trying to heal physically, mentally, spirtually. I have faith that things will get better and I'm doing what I can to move on with life and be happy again.