Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Truly, yesterday I was feeling good. Proud of myself. Happy. Positive.
I knew TOM was approaching and I was also proud of how calm and even-tempered I was feeling.
Well, that serene chick was gone before breakfast today.
Though I physically, literally got out of bed the same as always,
emotionally, figuratively, "wrong side of the bed" doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like the top of my head is coming off.
I actually scare myself sometimes.
This level of frustration and...
I never admitted this to anyone before...
sometimes I feel like I'm screaming inside. In my own head.
Usually half a xanax helps.
Not so much today.
Gonna take the other half with lunch and see if I can get through the afternoon and evening without taking it out on my students (some of whom richly deserve it, I'll share with you!!)
But I won't. I will use this as an exercise in patience and self-control.
I can't say my boys, with their less than stellar report cards this marking period, will experience the same level of restraint that my students will see tonight.