Saturday, April 24, 2010
Yesterday I volunteered doing something I enjoy. I was absolutely shocked when another member of the group sponsoring the project told me not to come back because I couldn't get around well enough to do some aspects of the job.
While he was correct about my disabilities, he was way off base about my abilities. I started to talk back in defense and then decided it was not a good idea. He did something others hadn't. He made me look at my abilities.
I have been "disabled" for several years, but that has never held me back, well not much. My family got really unhappy with me when I wanted to go rollerskating one day. I am still trying to figure out how to do that safely. I think I may have a solution now.
I never gave much thought to concentrating on the coulds instead of the couldn'ts. My "friend" made me think about all the things I can and do. I realized that I consistently try to walk alone. There are some days when I know I am not going to be able to walk without assistance and I use whatever device is best suited my my need that day. I do keep going. I am not about to let myself sink back into the black hole of depression that would come if I didn't stay actively engaged in community.
I realized that I seek out people who have abilities. Those people are fully alive and bring me into a world of activity. I do not select my friends from those people who have disengaged themselves from participating in an active life. In the first place I have no idea how to contact them. I love to play, and laugh. My friends bring sunshine into a life that could have been very grey.
I am grateful for my "Friend" for pointing out to me just how much I like to push against the barriers of life. I will return to my volunteer work and I will enjoy every minute. I am able. I intend to stay that way.