Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I love to cook. But over the past couple of weeks, I have been so busy that my kitchen has been woefully neglected - the dishes are piling up, the groceries from my last trip aren't fully put away yet, and I can't see my kitchen table for all the "stuff" piled on top of it. But yesterday, in an attempt to get back in the saddle of healthy cooking, I took some ground turkey out of the freezer to thaw.
Now, up until last night, I'd had a really good day. I had my regular breakfast, and then was taken out for lunch at work. I managed to choose an excellent, healthy option from the menu (Pumpkin & Prawn Soup) that was not only delicious, but very low in calories. Since it was a soup though, I left the restaurant feeling full, but was hungry about 3 hours later. So I decided to treat myself with a little snack from Potbelly. I was doing really well and had enough calories left in my day to get me through a snack and dinner, so I chose a chocolate smoothie and a bag of Baked Lays. Good snack - I was totally satisfied, dealt with my little chocolate craving and had enough food to hold be over to dinner.
But here's where things somehow went awry. I got home, pulled all my healthy ingredients out of my fridge and starting making a yummy turkey chili to top some tortilla chips - my own recipe for healthy nachos. I made enough turkey chili for leftovers, and topped enough nacho chips for 4 servings.
And then I ate the WHOLE THING!
Just like that. I wasn't particularly hungry. I certainly WANTED to stop eating before I did. But some evil gremlin inside me kept telling me to eat the whole tray. So I did.
I felt awful after. Typical binge - I was angry, embarrased and FULL when it was over, and the this morning I woke up with a headache and gas. Yuck. I'm all too familiar with the side effects, but in the moment, the knowledge of them is not enough to stop what I'm doing. And it's almost more of an insult to know that I binged on a healthy meal that I made the effort to cook for myself! Just one of the little ways that I find to subvert the good I'm doing and turn it into something bad.
Anyway - when all is said and done, I didn't fare too horribly. Though I ended up eating 4 servings of nachos, making them myself made them low enough in calories that I can likely work them off with an extra day of exercise. But I have an eye on you gremlin. One of these days, I'm going to wake up and you will have moved on.
Gremlin Eviction is such a slow and laborious process...