Monday, April 19, 2010
I have been dieting most of my adult life. I used to say I had a moderate degree of success until it dawned on me this morning I was looking at things the wrong way. Most of my inspiration comes in the shower. There’s just something nice about a stream of hot water in the morning!
I was thinking back to the time when Joan and I were first married. I weighed one hundred sixty five pounds. The day I began Spark people, I weighed in at three hundred twenty six pounds. In thirty five years I had literally created two of me!!! (While I am always looking on the positive side of things, two of me in that respect wasn’t a good thing at all.)
I could detail every diet I tried but chances are you already know about them. You have “been there and done that” yourself. Chances are you know all too well about the “failure factor” and the internal shame and embarrassment that goes along with it.
“Just something else I failed at.” We mutter to ourselves. “Go away John!!!”
As I stood in front of the mirror grinning at myself I decided to play the word association game.
“Diet’ I said
“Punishment,” was the first word in to my head.
All of a sudden the grin left my face. A lot of us look at a diet as a punishment for being overweight or as the world likes to call it “fat.” When a punishment doesn’t work we punish ourselves more and we succeed less and pretty soon we are right back where we started, feeling crappy about ourselves and adding a new friend called ten to fifteen pounds. Then most of us just give up.
We try different tactics. There is our old friend called self denial and his cousin discipline. They move in for awhile, reek a bit of havoc and move out leaving their best friend known as low self esteem. At the end of the day we believe there is nothing we can do right and we resign ourselves to being overweight.
I think we got it all wrong. We have it all wrong because we work from the outside in, instead of working from the inside out. If Spark people has taught me anything that’s it. The more I concentrate on being a better me, the more I am willing to take care of “all of me.” It’s not a punishment it’s a project. It’s a project I find myself looking forward to.
Yeah, it’s about a food and exercise plan. Yup, you gotta have goals and you better have an action plan. But aren’t you worth it? Fiddlesticks on what mom, dad, an ex a current or all those unenlightened people in your life feel. Aren’t you worth it? Yes, you have, like me, most likely failed in the past. So?
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and today is a gift.” That’s why it’s called the present! Embrace it!!!
Right now, stop what you are doing, get up and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. I’ll wait for you.
Ok good you are back. You and I need to do that as often as we can. We need to learn to be comfortable with this project we call ourselves. We need to laugh and grin and not be so gosh darned judgmental of ourselves. We need to hold small celebrations every time we notice a positive change in ourselves and when we start feeling ourselves slip find some support.
Most of the time we don’t honor ourselves because we don’t place a lot of value in ourselves. We blame everyone but ourselves. We see ourselves as weak willed, weak minded and weak kneed. We constantly bend to the whims of others and the pit gets deeper and deeper.
Here is a suggestion:
Find one thing, anything at all, to accomplish today. Maybe it’s starting that new exercise program you been putting off, maybe it’s walking an extra ten minutes this morning or this evening. It might be taking a sandwich and fruit to work instead of hitting the fast food joint.
It might be a lotta things………………
Write it down. You don’t need to write War and Peace.
“I made a healthy lunch today.”
“I rode my bike to the bank today instead of driving.”
“I cleaned my office.” (That one was for me guys lol)
Keep a list and look at it every day and all of a sudden one day you gotta block an hour out on your calendar to review all you accomplished. Suddenly you are a success.
Trust me it works. I believe in you, you believe in you. See, there are already two great things that have happened!!!