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    JOHNTJ1   73,547
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints

Changing From The Inside Out

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Monday, April 19, 2010

I have been dieting most of my adult life. I used to say I had a moderate degree of success until it dawned on me this morning I was looking at things the wrong way. Most of my inspiration comes in the shower. There’s just something nice about a stream of hot water in the morning!

I was thinking back to the time when Joan and I were first married. I weighed one hundred sixty five pounds. The day I began Spark people, I weighed in at three hundred twenty six pounds. In thirty five years I had literally created two of me!!! (While I am always looking on the positive side of things, two of me in that respect wasn’t a good thing at all.)

I could detail every diet I tried but chances are you already know about them. You have “been there and done that” yourself. Chances are you know all too well about the “failure factor” and the internal shame and embarrassment that goes along with it.

“Just something else I failed at.” We mutter to ourselves. “Go away John!!!”

As I stood in front of the mirror grinning at myself I decided to play the word association game.

“Diet’ I said

“Punishment,” was the first word in to my head.

All of a sudden the grin left my face. A lot of us look at a diet as a punishment for being overweight or as the world likes to call it “fat.” When a punishment doesn’t work we punish ourselves more and we succeed less and pretty soon we are right back where we started, feeling crappy about ourselves and adding a new friend called ten to fifteen pounds. Then most of us just give up.

We try different tactics. There is our old friend called self denial and his cousin discipline. They move in for awhile, reek a bit of havoc and move out leaving their best friend known as low self esteem. At the end of the day we believe there is nothing we can do right and we resign ourselves to being overweight.
I think we got it all wrong. We have it all wrong because we work from the outside in, instead of working from the inside out. If Spark people has taught me anything that’s it. The more I concentrate on being a better me, the more I am willing to take care of “all of me.” It’s not a punishment it’s a project. It’s a project I find myself looking forward to.

Yeah, it’s about a food and exercise plan. Yup, you gotta have goals and you better have an action plan. But aren’t you worth it? Fiddlesticks on what mom, dad, an ex a current or all those unenlightened people in your life feel. Aren’t you worth it? Yes, you have, like me, most likely failed in the past. So?

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and today is a gift.” That’s why it’s called the present! Embrace it!!!

Right now, stop what you are doing, get up and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. I’ll wait for you.

Ok good you are back. You and I need to do that as often as we can. We need to learn to be comfortable with this project we call ourselves. We need to laugh and grin and not be so gosh darned judgmental of ourselves. We need to hold small celebrations every time we notice a positive change in ourselves and when we start feeling ourselves slip find some support.

Most of the time we don’t honor ourselves because we don’t place a lot of value in ourselves. We blame everyone but ourselves. We see ourselves as weak willed, weak minded and weak kneed. We constantly bend to the whims of others and the pit gets deeper and deeper.

Here is a suggestion:

Find one thing, anything at all, to accomplish today. Maybe it’s starting that new exercise program you been putting off, maybe it’s walking an extra ten minutes this morning or this evening. It might be taking a sandwich and fruit to work instead of hitting the fast food joint.

It might be a lotta things………………

Write it down. You don’t need to write War and Peace.

“I made a healthy lunch today.”

“I rode my bike to the bank today instead of driving.”

“I cleaned my office.” (That one was for me guys lol)

Keep a list and look at it every day and all of a sudden one day you gotta block an hour out on your calendar to review all you accomplished. Suddenly you are a success.

Trust me it works. I believe in you, you believe in you. See, there are already two great things that have happened!!!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
GIULIA19 2/20/2012 2:20PM

    Your Blog was great!!You sound like a terrific person, and I wish you the BEST!!

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K0ALACAT 11/25/2011 12:50AM

    Thanks for the words of inspiration. Let's see, today I cooked. I logged my food. I talked to my daughters. Simple things that I'm embarrassed to admit I don't do consistently. emoticon

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STITCHINGNAN 8/5/2011 10:51AM

    I am having a bad day a POOR ME day, but reading blogs does help. I am taking on board the point of writing something positive I did each day.
Strugling to find a thing about today.... unless i note "Reading blogs and taking some advice in"?
Thanks. I emoticon

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DIETSAFARI 6/25/2011 4:08AM

    Perfect Common Sense, I loved your blog. Thank you

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LOSTLIME 3/28/2011 6:48AM

    The start of a new week. Going to start my list and see what happens! Thanks for the boost!

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MYADOG1 3/26/2011 10:20AM

    Today was the perfect day for me to read this! Thanks emoticon

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NESSAM80 3/4/2011 12:33PM

    I loved reading this! You have an amazing attitude and are very motivational!

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CONTESSA63 1/14/2011 6:57PM

  What a fantastic attitude you have! I am going to take your advice and start writing!

Thank you!

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ANDYLIN90 11/14/2010 2:09AM

    Your blog is very wise. As hard as it is to dump the negative feelings and self punishment for failing, I also know none of us will ever achieve our weight loss goals until we can really embrace how special and deserving we each of us are.

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CHANGE4THEBEST 11/9/2010 8:23PM

Thank you for sharing your thoughts - great blog! I have given myself three things to acheive tomorrow - including time management as an incentive. I hope (want) to beat the clock!

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FLY0NTHEWAL1 11/9/2010 10:41AM

    Your blog shows great insight. Thank you for sharing it with us! I especially like the idea to note individual accomplishments. At the very least, it inspires us to do Something every day that we can be proud of.

Good luck to you on your journey!

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LIZZIEB122 9/25/2010 10:41AM

    Great story I'm sure many of us can relate. You are so right about beliving
in yourself. Thanks for sharing emoticon

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LIZZIEB122 9/25/2010 10:41AM

    Great story I'm sure many of us can relate. You are so right about beliving
in yourself. Thanks for sharing emoticon

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OKNOWGOGO 8/30/2010 1:19PM

    Very inspirational. Thank you!

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HEALTHYMOM12 8/14/2010 8:41AM

    This was a great inspiration. Thank-you.

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RAINBOWSMILIE 8/13/2010 7:21PM

    Beautiful...thank-you for the inspiration.

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RIGBY31 8/7/2010 2:56PM

    Made my day. I was floundering. The daily pro-active list makes me not think "well, I haven't lost my 107 today, so all is lost". Little steps. Wonderful!

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DARLENE4SURE 5/24/2010 2:12PM

  Excellent & well said. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and I believe and am inspired in what you have said. Thanks!

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CHRISTINEIH 5/23/2010 8:41AM

    Very motivating! emoticon emoticon

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SUNGBIRD2000 5/12/2010 3:28PM

    emoticon for sharing!

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ASHLEEWEBART 5/9/2010 3:30PM

    You have made a good point here, and it sounds to me like one of the best "secrets" of success. Once we take a good look at ourselves long enough to see our inner self, then we realize where to start.

Comment edited on: 5/9/2010 3:42:08 PM

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BRINI24 5/7/2010 12:00PM

    Very inspiring...thank you!

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KARLY47 5/6/2010 1:46PM

    Thats Great ,Love to read it also.

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WANAKA 5/5/2010 5:44PM

    Wonderful words of wisdom :) Thankx for being an inspiration!

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TEXASMIMI1 5/5/2010 12:51PM

    Thanks for the inspiration.

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EMMAJEAN50 5/5/2010 12:46PM

    I think I'll take your suggestion, thanks! I love your blog!

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AKAFIT 5/5/2010 9:36AM

    WOW, is all I can say. I NEVER thought about it from the male prospective, but we are all alike in so many ways when our issue is WEIGHT!! Thank you for reminding me that I am well worth the effort and the battle. emoticon

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LILAC581 5/4/2010 11:35PM

  A lot of good thoughts here. Good job!

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INNERBEWTY 5/4/2010 11:11PM

    For me working from the "inside out" means working on my self-esteem, my stress eating, etc. It turns out these things may have something to do with overeating. I've been working on this the past few months. And it has been enlightening and very positive. Thank you for your post. emoticon

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PALCANTARA 5/4/2010 7:45PM

    great post. keep it up buddy!

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MICKEYMAX 5/4/2010 3:48PM

    You rock! Thanks for your great attitude!

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BELLATRIX1224 5/4/2010 2:51PM

    Thank you for your inspiration!

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STOGDALE4 5/4/2010 12:21PM

  Well spoken. Thank you.

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SHARONHPLWS 5/4/2010 11:17AM

Thank you,
I know this is an area I need to work on.
Your words have given me the kick to start
this journey also emoticon

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MARTHAV2 5/4/2010 8:36AM

    You certainly described me through and through. It seems like when I get on a positive kick I can manage to lose the weight but then the negative comes and I gain it back. This time I am hoping to keep the negative away. I hope this will be what Spark People can teach me. emoticon

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KAURMANDEEP 5/4/2010 2:19AM

  Thank you :) emoticon

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SUMMER_LOVIN23 5/3/2010 10:48PM

  Powerful! Well done..... emoticon

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SINGLEMOM1960 5/3/2010 5:09PM

    I see why this was voted best emoticon

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SMOOCHIEFACE 5/3/2010 4:32PM

    Awesome, YOU ROCK!

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GIVEUP30 5/3/2010 2:00PM

    emoticon emoticon keep it up

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ACALIGIRL2010 5/3/2010 1:22PM

  Thanks for sharing! Love it!

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KAYAKMOMSDA 5/3/2010 12:56PM

    Thank you! emoticon

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SKIPPELM 5/3/2010 12:28PM

    emoticon Wow dude, you rock! I completely identifu with everything you said. I love it when you "wait" for us to go to the mirror, you have a fantastic writing style. Anyhow, this really reasonated with me and I cannot thank you enough for the lesson and motivation. emoticon

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SANDYK4BAMA 5/3/2010 12:08PM

    Wow you have GREAT insight! I want you to be my SPARK-BUDDY!! I NEED you! What goes on in your head goes on just that way in mine! Only one thing, I still can hardly bear to look at myself in the mirror. The negative self-talk is just too loud when I do that. So for now anyway, I'm going to stick to my walking, and my veggies and fruit and all those little spark points that make me feel so good - and someday maybe I too can look in the mirror and grin (again).

Thank you so much for this blog. You can't imagine how much happiness this has given my heart today!

You're AWESOME!!

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GUANAJUATO109 5/3/2010 11:47AM

    Oh thank you for sharing! Amen! emoticon emoticon

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PATSDIARY 5/3/2010 10:36AM

    What great insight - and motivation! Congrats on your success, and thanks for sharing with the rest of us!

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KARENCHAPTER2 5/3/2010 10:28AM

    Great blog! Sometimes we lose sight of the small things looking at the big picture!

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PEABODYPEGGY 5/3/2010 10:19AM

    Thank you . You've jump started my day - even if looking at myself in the mirror was gross. LOL I'm going to do it - right now. First thing on my list " I took Marian to pre=school this morning".

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LIGIRLBOOBLE 5/3/2010 9:58AM


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MOMS100 5/3/2010 8:40AM

    GREAT blog! You have a lot of insight!

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Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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