Thursday, April 15, 2010
I received something in my email, one of my newsletters I subscribe too, with this title. It sparked a thought process in me. What is my idea weight? I started to click on it to read and then stopped, swearing that I wouldn't read it or any other article saying what my ideal weight should be. Here's where my thought process begins...
*My* ideal weight is and should be the weight I'm most happiest...and yes, of course healthy. I won't say healthiest because let's say I get down to 195. I've been there. Was there all through high school (except once I got really sick and lost about 15-20 lbs), and was there about a year and a half ago (before getting on anti-depressants..another blog thought process coming up). However, I was healthy. I really was. Went to the docs, had all my numbers drawn, blood looked at, .... (hmm, yes I see the problem with what I just typed..no time to backspace and correct so just switch the two).. and all came back fine. In the words of one doctor, "textbook health". Could/Would I be healthier at say...my "ideal" weight of 135-120? Sure, probably. I would I think definitely be happier. But anyways...if I do make it to 195 or even 190-180 and I'm happy and healthy...should/could that be MY "ideal" weight? I'd like to think so. Should it be okay with everyone that yeah I'm still gonna be big but I'll be happy? I think so but should I care? I don't think I should but most likely I will. I do. I care what others think. No matter how hard I've tried not to care, no matter how much I say I don't care. I care, I let it get to me and I don't like it, I don't want to be that way. I haven't learned how not to care though. My mother (update coming up on her here in a bit, there's been one..or 2) is really big and has always been really big on "what will so and so think about..." and my sis is the same way. Now that I think about it, there have been times when I have started out really not giving a hoot about what who thinks about anything having to do with me, however it ends up that I start caring and thinking 'well what if so and so sees me with/without..." of the ever famous what will the neighbors think if/about/when..." so...anyways, this is kinda getting in the way.
So anyways... ideal weight. Should it be up to some newsletter or some doctors/nutritionists I've never met to decide what *my* ideal weight should be? Well, that to me is not that big of a deal. If it makes them happy to decide that for me, then fine. Doesn't mean I have to pay any attention to it, right? As long as I'm happy and healthy... Should it matter? To anyone else? Just some thoughts swimming around at the moment..