Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Seeing Bfit's blog reminded me that it has been a while since I have done one too. My New Years resolution seems to be holding still. It was to accept my body for what it is and to appreciate it for all it is and does. I am no longer hating my body, but embracing it and accepting that I will be 5'2" for at least another 20 years and then it will change. Unfortunately I will not get taller, but shrink. So those oh so long legs I would love to have are never gonna happen. But the strong marathon running legs I do have look pretty darned good! Arms-check. Abs-no to shabby. Behind-a little low, but powering me through. So all in all not so bad.
Of course I could be ultra super happy with them because last weekend I ran the marathon you can only dream of! My one big goal this year was to get a sub 4 hour marathon. But its spring and I was kind of slow and lazy during the winter. I logged the 20 milers all winter and other long distances. Did a marathon and helped a rookie runner finish in February in Birmingham, AL getting my only Mercedes emblem I will ever own for a medal. I did a bit of speed work last month, but nothing like I do in the summer on long runs. Now keep in mind that I only need 3:50:59 to go to Boston. So getting under 4 is my only real goal because to knock that much off of my PR of 4:02 just seems ridiculous. Ok, here's the story and it is in black and white on a finishers website.
So 2 weeks ago I procrastinated on doing a pre-marathon tune up half. It was 3 loops and I hate loops. But cheap and a good taper run. When I procrastinate till the last minute it usually is not going to go well because my heart isn't in it. And it wasn't at the half. I signed up the day before if that tells you my feelings. But I ran strong and did 1:55. ok. Great. Half of the time I need for Boston. But can I hold another 13.1 at that pace. Probably not. But its ok because I haven't put the time in so I can't expect it. So the marathon I did last Saturday had a price break ending on the Tuesday before. So I sign up. None of my group is signed up. All usual suspects are bailing, etc. Yeah, heart is not in it. Ok, so long before dawn breaks and officially before the butt crack of dawn I get up at 4am for a race that is traditionally boring and one I swore I would never do again last year. But to get Marathon Maniac status I need it. I eat, do the usual morning "stuff", pick up George my fast running bud and off we go. Its 33 and I talked myself out of a throw away shirt/jacket. We still have 20 min to start and cold is all I can focus on. I remember a broken zippered fleece in the car that is now resting in immortal marathon discardation. Life is feeling better. The gun goes off, I shuffle to the start and am off. Just me and my ipod. And all the halfers pulling me too fast. And yet at 9, well after their turn for the out n back, I am still at that pace. 12, still there. 14-yep no slowing down. I am telling myself that this feels pretty good, but there is a lot left. 15 it starts to dawn on me looking at my pace between intervals that this is gonna be good. (I set my garmin for intervals so I can not see the cumulative time or I play mind games-and I do run/walk) So I start to tell myself that I have it. at 16 I am convinced Boston is in reach. I get through the worst of the miles telling myself how good it is going to feel to post that on Facebook. That is pretty much all that got me through 22-25. So as I round the 2nd to last corner a half mile out it dawns on me that the Garmin pace I am looking at is only for the time running and it is not keeping score on walk breaks. Panic! Sheer panic! I have left all I have out on the course. I try a kick and nothing except the downhill helper. I turn the last corner but can not see the clock yet. I know I have 4. I hadn't seen the perfect pace snotty 4 hour girl in a long time (sorry). I see it. Is it good enough? I don't know because I am on intervals! Auughh. There is a man with his whole entire herd of children running him in hogging the chute. (normally I find this totally acceptable and cute since my DH has never seen me finish any race)Then out jumps this man with a crank siren and he makes direct eye contact and starts running just ahead of the herd. There it is. The kick. I pass the herd, get to the man and cross the line already choking on tears. Clock time-3:55 and change. Sub 4-COMPLETE!!! But what about actual chip time. How long did it take me to get to the line? How in the heck do I work my garmin to find my time????? Still choking, crying and being hugged and swung by George I can not believe it. I know though in my heart the clock time is too far out. 20 minutes later the official posting. 3:51:28. Missed Boston by 29 SECONDS!!!
But no tears. I can not cry at that. I had no intention of having that run. It just came. I felt so good. And I hate to say it didn't feel that hard. It was, but you know what I am saying. It was one that was just there every step. I laughed with people and smiled the whole way on a course I usually hate. But at mile 5 I knew I felt good so I started going positive. How can you be upset by a run like that? Sorry, I am crying again writing. I am SO happy to have a PR with a 3 in front of it!!! So proud of myself and all my friends who without a doubt help me be the runner I am. I am only as good as the people I surround myself with. I would be lying if I haven't thought of a hundred things I did out there that would add up to 29 seconds. You wouldn't be human if you didn't. But the old me would not have been able to be happy with just the PR. I would have been upset by what I didn't get instead of what I did accomplish. How stupid is that? I am still smiling today and it has been 5 days. Still shocked at that run. Still beyond happy with my shiny new PR.
So, I guess the new year, new attitude is working. Because all I really pledged to do was accept my body, not myself...