Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So, I know I've said this before, but I really felt totally sad and alone yesterday. So many "big" events coming up - positive ones, but still. I really can not believe that my son is going to be 19 years old AND going to college. And what's bad is he's going thru "nest mess" (a friend told me that expression) where he is pushing me away cause of his fears. In the midst of that, I have to remain emotionally stable, calm, and still speak out of peace and love (no, not be a doormat, just let him experience and go thru what he needs to). I also have to be the one to push, encourage, AND do all the paperwork - to make sure he gets in to college....lol
And to top it off, my birthday is in between his birthday and graduation...yes, I know every day should be a celebration of life, but I really don't feel 39. A friend said I just need to date a younger guy...lol
AND...I am STILL fighting (in between windows - or canyons - of stopping, starting, stopping, starting) this friggin weight issue. I am proud that I haven't given up...but tired of fighting each and every day for something. Peace, love, financial stability, feelings of loneliness, abandonment, fat....feels very overwhelming right now.
Breathe in.....breathe out