Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Wish I could say I was feeling positive and upbeat about my journey this morning but I type this with tears in my eyes. I am feeling down about where I am on my journey or where I should be instead of where I am. I feel like I am my own worst enemy right now. I want to be making progress and instead I feel myself slipping in the wrong direction. Of course it doesn't help working around a very negative person either.
On the home front things are great w/DD. She is the light of my life. If I didn't have her, I don't think I'd continue staying in my marriage the way I have. My marriage is lacking some things and I wish I could just have a huge house where I could live in one part w/DD and he live in the other. Realistically I am sure that isn't a possibility but it works for me. My other option is find a place with a good friend of mine and she could take care of DD while I worked. Ahhh to dream...
I need to stop this feeling sorry for myself. I don't need to wallow in my situation. I made my bed and now I must lay in it. This applies to all areas of my life. It's time for me to really look at my life and stop making the poor choices I've made and start making
choices. I don't need to let this cloudy soon to be rainy weather affect me and bring me down. I am worth more than this. I am better than this!
So after work I will go buy some healthier foods. I need input from my Sparkfamily. What's a good low cal replacement for oreo cookies & cream ice cream? No I haven't had a ton but I've had some last night and a tiny bit on Sunday. So I need to find some replacements so I don't go to the store and buy some bad stuff. I have tried Vitamuffins but I wasn't all that impressed with those. HELP! I need chocolate dessert options my friends!
I am not going to be envious/jealous of others who are further on their journey than I am. This does nothing for me in the long run but depress me further and in the first place it's rude. This people have earned every right to be where they are. They've worked hard to get where they are. Instead of reacting this way, I need to get my program and my @#%$ together. Then I will be able to join these wonderful people & friends. Negative energy breeds negative results.
I AM HERE FOR POSITIVE RESULTS! What about you????