Sunday, April 11, 2010
And How You Can Too!
As Recommended by Oprah and Johnny Depp
(Well, no, they didn't really recommend it, but you have to admit: it's a great subtitle, and I'd sell enough copies to satisfy Borders & Immigration, of any country.)
I gorged... twice! And still lost weight!
I know, I had promised not to peek at the scale, but I was curious to see how much weight I had gained.
The great thing about weight plateaus is that one can start performing science experiments on oneself.
I'd been excessively "good" for more than 5 weeks. I nailed my calorie range every day, usually the lower end. I just said no to the chocolate chip bars that people brought to the office to celebrate a huge legal win, dripping with gorgeous butter and sugar. I drank water and green tea at a wedding shower and said no to the cake, the chocolate, the pastries, the sweets, the pizza, and the soda. I had broccoli and asparagus , which I love, at a dinner which featured an Easter ham, scalloped potatoes, and German chocolate cake..... and who knows how many Easter bunnies, eggs and jelly beans?
After all, I was there for the social life, the companionship, the celebration, the friendship, the....... you think I didn't l-l-l-lust after all that salt and sugar?
Guess again. But I'm eating healthfully, and my body likes it. I don't want diabetes. I don't want high blood pressure. I like the way I'm feeling. I want to hit the middle of my healthy BMI range. I like wearing skirts that are too short for women my age, except I don't look my age, so I just have to rock it. Also, I would like to see the - scale - just - move.
I nailed my exercise, too. I have 14 weeks of consistent exercise every day. It might be more. I stopped looking. Yes, I admit that I enjoy it. I groove on working that elliptical, rocking that bike, pushing that yoga. Sweat pouring, warm muscles, hair getting a little wet, soaked salty workout clothes, seeing a little definition here, a few muscle lines there. It just feels good. I don't mind the extra laundry. Mmm-mmm.
You think I didn't want to kick back on a few lunch hours and rest some tendons, complain loudly, "Oh blimey, the red house painters are here!" (translation: TOM), put my feet up and read, shoot the breeze out back with the gang on break?
You bet I did. But... my body likes this way of living. My muscles like the way I am making them feel, the way they are stretching, getting stronger, the way my heart beats more slowly and more powerfully, the way my lungs are taking in more oxygen. I like how much more weight I can lift, how fast I can move, how good it feels inside my skin.
I still wanted to see - the - scale - move, though. The tape measure did. What was I doing wrong?
Apparently, I hadn't cut ties with that ol' demon Perfection. I won't bore you with details of my insane upbringing, but I know from whence the perfection-addiction arises.
Friday, I put in an 18 hour day, because I am trying to book it on outta here, and I had work to finish up. I have places to go and people to see! I had to get home, do my veterinary care, grab a few hours of sleep, and be back in the early morning for my last day. I was hungrier and more tired than I have been in a long time. So I gorged!
The amazing thing was that I reached for and gorged on... almonds! And they were gooood. Unsalted almonds. Oh, an extra 200 calories, but those were probably the best 200 calories I have ever eaten.
But that wasn't enough. Oh no. I had some deep, dark 85% cacao, darling. That's right... deep dark chocolate. Another 190 calories. And that was the best chocolate I have had in months.
Oh well, I'd been on a plateau for a couple months, despite being "perfect". So, I ceased attachment and decided to play mathematician. A lady nails her calorie range every day and burns at least 500 per day. Her metabolism is stupid. Will 390 extra calories make her gain ten pounds? Let's get out the lab books, shall we?
I got up the next morning, weighed myself for the sake of science, and.... LOST 1/2 a pound!! WHAT?!?!
Well, I weighed myself again, because clearly the scale was broken, or the oxygen content of the atmosphere was wrong, or the planets were out of alignment, or some factor was not considered. Nope. The scale had moved!
Just to be sure, I weighed myself today. Non-believer that I am, surely physics is with me. No. The scale showed....1/2 pound LOST! Huh?
Either the world has ended, or I have discovered "calorie cycling". I'm going with the latter. This is incredible. Calorie cycling! Who knew? Not me. I like it, though. I am gonna mess with my body's head, which technically is my head, but maybe my head can use a little messing. I'll eat a little bit more one day, confuse my metabolism a little, eat a little less the next day and shake it up once in a while, so my body doesn't know what's coming. I do that with exercise. Why not my eating?
I'm also dumping that ol' demon Perfection.
So today, I gorged again. Why not? It worked before. So I gorged on....
Bill Lewis' poetry. If you want to be distracted from eating mindlessly, if you want to swoon over poetry that is romantic and sexy and gorgeously strange, if you want to hear fabulous meter and sound and experience imagery that will make you forget chocolate and pizza and reach for ice water, I highly recommend it. It's the kind of stuff that makes me cry that I didn't write it, and weep that something this exquisite exists here on Earth. Mmm,mmm, Perfection.
Well, maybe I'll just dump my food-attitude addiction-to-the-scale Perfection.