Saturday, April 10, 2010

I had A Friend.
I had a friend
I have A FRIEND.
I married my Friend.
And then
My Friend married my friend.
My FRIEND stood by me.
the end.


“What a friend (I) have in Jesus.
All (my) sins & griefs to bear.
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in Prayer.

Oh, what peace (I) often forfeit.
Oh, what needless pains (I) bear.

All because (I) do not carry
EVERYTHING to God in prayer.

Can (I) find a friend so faithful?
Who will all (my) sorrows share?

(I will)
Take it to the Lord in Prayer.

Dear Diary,
Here I go again. Facing the fallout 20 years of marriage between my best friend and my ex-husband of 20 years can’t help but entail.
Family celebrations overshadowed by 5 failed relationships – on my part – since the divorce. Including the 2nd divorce and recent Homegoing of my second husband.

With the eminent birth of a fourth grand child, graduations, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Birthdays, Bar-B Ques and
all the Holidays and eventualities of Summer that draw family and friends together. The causes for celebrations and re-actment of family traditions; fast approach. Desend upon me like threatening stormy skies. Looming. Cloudy. Chilly. An air accented by my alones. An air accompanied by shame. Puncuated by my air of discontent.
My spirit darkens. I am yet “uncoupled”.
I am yet, obese and objectified. Reduced to simply a thing a label – many labels.
I pause to pray:

First and foremost, I am Your child. As Your child, I come boldly before Your Throne of Love. I come knowing that You love me. You love me unconditionally . I thank You and I praise You, Father.

Father, I come before You now, in the Holy Name of Jesus. I come asking as humbly as I know how, let Your Will be done in my life. My heart aches. You said in Your Word You created Eve because it was not a good thing for Adam to be alone. Father, I am alone. Alone is not good. You did not create alone for in creating everything that You created You pronounce it “good”.

Father, I confess (I admit) that “everything that is good for me is not necessarily good to me”. Therefore, in my “aloneness” I continue to submit myself to Thee - to the constant ministry of transformation by Your Holy Spirit, while making my petition known to You.

Father, I thank You for weapons of warfare are not carnal, but mighty through You, Lord, to the pulling down of strongholds in my life.

I come before Your Throne of mercy and grace, Father, expressing my desire for a Christian mate. I ask that Your Will be done in my life.

For I am not simply seeking THE ONE (perfect mate – the mate that You designed for me), Father, but seeking to be THE ONE - (the perfect mate - the mate You designed me to be in accordance with Your Word.)

Father, touch with Your Divine finger of Love. Heal wounded emotions, tear down walls of denial, emotional isolation, silence or excessive talking, anger, or rigidity - prepare our hearts Lord, (his, mine, our families and our friends). Bring everything into healing Light of Your Love that has been hidden.

Father, I know You. You are the One in Whom I have placed my confidence. I am sure that the work of “right relationship”, (whether I remain unmarried or marry), is safe in Your hands until that day You chose to reveal it to me.

Father, I confess, that because I love You, Lord - because I am called according to Your plan - everything that happens to me fits into a pattern for good. In Your foreknowledge, You chose me to bear the family likeness of Your Son. You chose me long ago. When the time came You called me. You lifted me to the splendor of life as Your child.

I lay aside every weight, and the sins which so easily entrap me. I run with endurance the race that is set before me. I look to you, Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith. You, Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross - despising the shame. You, Who is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. I think about You, Jesus, Who endured such hostility from sinners against Your Self for me. You Who are risen to the Right Hand of The Father and makes intercession for me. I think about You when I become weary and discouraged in my soul.
I think about Your incomparable love for me. I turn my back on the turbulent desires of my youth. I give positive attention to goodness, integrity, love, and peace in company with all those who approach You, Lord, in sincerity.

I have nothing to do with silly and ill-informed controversies, which inevitably lead to strife.

As Your servant, I am not a person of strife.
I seek to be kind to all, ready and able to learn or to teach. I seek to be tolerant and have the ability to gently correct those who oppose Your message.

Father, I desire and earnestly seek, first of all, Your Kingdom and Your righteousness. For You have promised to instill in me all the desires of my heart (a longing for the things Your desire for me). Father, I confess that, “happiness is not having what I want, but happiness is wanting what I have” – what You have given me! I will not worry. I will not be anxious about tomorrow.

I am persuaded that I can safely place my trust in You, Father God. You loved me first! You chose me in, Your beloved Son, Christ Jesus, before the foundation of the world. I confess by faith – that I am filled with the Godhead – the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – and I reach toward full spiritual stature – sonship! In Jesus, I am complete. I confess Jesus is my Lord and Savior.

Now, I enter into blessed rest. I adhere to, trust in, and rely on You. You know the plans You have me. To do me good. To allow nothing to harm (permanently damage) me (my heart – my soul.)
I thank You, Father. And I pray this prayer in the mighty Name of Your Beloved Son,

Christ Jesus.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Dear Friend,

    I was touched so much by your poem at the beginning of this blog. You have so much faith. I believe God will answer your prayers and bring you peace and contentment. Take care of yourself.

    2877 days ago
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