Friday, April 09, 2010
On my Facebook page, I have an application that automatically posts a Photo of the Day for me. Each day it's like a little surprise when I log on to facebook and see one of my old photos that I may have forgotten about. I get to see family, friends, holidays, and events that can help keep me smiling and happy.
Today's photo was of myself and my siblings, from the very early 90s. I was probably around 7 or 8. We were all smiling and happy- my sister with her huge 80s hair, my little brother stretching in his pajamas, and me playing dress-up in a Hawaiian outfit. It was a wonderful picture, especially since there aren't many pictures of all of us kids smiling together. Or just of me as a child in general.
When I remember my childhood, I can't remember a time when I wasn't overweight. My mom tells me that I've always been big; I was even her biggest baby. But there is photographic evidence to the contrary. In this picture, I was so thin. Maybe I was still a little bigger than my classmates, but definitely not as big as I always remember being, and definitely not obese. My ankles and calves, poking out from under the Hawaiian Barbie skirt, are so thin, it is hard for me to imagine.
This is inspiring me. I have always thought of myself as someone who was always obese and would never be able to get down to a healthy weight, no matter how hard I tried. My goal was to make myself feel healthier, not really to get to a healthy weight. But now I see that my body wasn't always made to be obese. It can be thin. And if I work hard, it WILL be thin again. It won't be fast- it's taken me almost 20 years to get this large. But it will be worth it.