Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Last Wednesday we settled. After six long and ridiculous hours, settled. Best part, I was awarded the children, full physical, legal, religious, education, activities, and he has final say in only medical. 5 hrs 55 min were spent fighting over his toys, his money, his selfishness and the need to "win". His children took up 5 minutes of his time. Nice..... I have to be out of the house by 6/30 and will only receive a very small amount to start our new lives, and child support once I move out. He is now a monster to be near. He is pissed off about child support and is in turn doing any and everything to make my life HELL. I need to find my next "ice cube" to tie me over for a bit. I am still out of work, but a former boss called me in today to interview for a position that is under her, but I still need to come back to meet with her boss. We will see, I have my fingers crossed....I mean whats there not to like?? : ) I am now really struggling with all the unknowing of where we are going to live, how am I going to financially make it, etc. I am freaking out.
Healthy eating is still in the forefront of my mind, and I know that I am the only one who controls me, not his crap, not the stress. However, this is getting the best of me sometimes and I find myself just snacking away at night when I zone out for an hour or so on the TV.
I know in my heart that God will provide the path for me and my children and ultimately Shawn can't hurt me in any way. He doesn't understand the importance that all his horrible choices have in the long haul. He doesn't respect the necessity of letting God love us unconditionally and giving your absolute best to Him. He doesn't get it, and probably never will. I pray that he wakes up before its too late.