Monday, April 05, 2010
I felt very different today when I walked into the bank--I was wearing grey sweats and a black top. I felt comfortable, and for the first time in years, I felt graceful and confident in my own skin! It was like I was in a dream. The self criticism that normally runs through my head on a constant basis was GONE and I felt like I really liked myself and respected myself.
ALL the problems I had been preoccupied with--my car's transmission, how to cover all the bills, my brother's well-being, finding a job, what I was going to eat for lunch when I got home...the constant stream of stuff I usually think about, just faded away and it was clear to me that it was really important that I see my own beauty and accept myself EXACTLY AS I AM with no criticism. I don't have to be at my goal weight to love and admire myself. And life doesn't have to be perfect for me to be at peace with myself. In fact, it's even more important for me to deal with whatever comes up every day from a place where I'm ok with myself. Having that self love makes me stronger.
Part of the joy of being here at Spark is how much I'm growing. I'm learning something every day, and meeting some incredibly good,warm, and loving people. I love my journey!