Monday, March 29, 2010
this month has been one of the busiest i've had in a long time. closing on the house, moving in, setting up shop, finding my socks and bowls and hairbrush. my sister got married in las vegas. we shopped for alarm systems and sealed the garage floor and found a couch.
every day during this time, i thought of sparkpeople. even when i didn't have an internet connection, i constructed blogs in my head and used them as my 5 minute pep talk. and while i thought of sparkpeople, i tried very hard to focus on me and how i could improve myself even when a great diet and hitting the gym were just not in the cards.
and i really did learn something. this month, the scale may not have moved, but i stuck with it. i tossed out the "starting over" mentality, and told myself that today and tomorrow are not reflections of last week or last month, but instead of how i feel about me. and i deserve to support me without the fear of failing! i got on the scale even when my inner me wanted to scream and hide, and i had conversations about why the numbers were the ones they ought to be, and not be disappointed that they weren't magically the ones i want to see. AND to say, that's ok, because you're gaining something more important than losing a pound.
things are finally settling down around the house. we're not all moved in, but we're settled. everyday doesn't have 3 more appointments or errands to run. but even if the coming days are busy, i know that i can look myself in the eye and challenge me to work hard, to get out there and get my 10 minutes of exercise, and to pack a lunch that make me feel like a million bucks.
can you see the shine and the spark? i can.