Saturday, March 27, 2010
I first heard about a gratitude journal when I was still working with TCFV during a Wellness Meeting. Now I have a few friends who do this. The basic idea seems to be that it helps you focus on the good things in your life and there-by giving you a motivational tool.
Now, I know my track record with journaling. I enjoy doing it. I want to do it. But I never remember to do it. So instead of making promises that I know I will fall short of I am simply going to state that I will try to remember to do this when I can. As with my blogging, I will do it when it is needed for me.
Here is my thankfulness for today.
Today I am thankful for the ability to build a world I can cherish. In the past year or so I have changed. Yes, I'm a vegetarian now. But I don't mean just in a nutritional or fitness way. I mean in a fundamental way that effects WHO I AM and not just how I look. I've allowed myself to go out and meet people and have fun. In doing so I have met some of the most unforgettable characters who have enriched my life and blessed me beyond words. Some have become dear and close friends. Some have become ships that have passed in the night, or conversations fondly remembered in a book shop. All adding to my life and to who I am becoming. All giving me insight into myself and the world around me. I feel more confident. I feel bold! I feel safe. I feel more beautiful than I ever have. I feel wanted. I feel loved. I feel accepted. For the first time in my life my weight is not the biggest thing on my mind. I no longer feel I have to be thin and perfect and beautiful to be wanted, needed, love, accepted and HAPPY. I am finally happy just being me. Yes the being healthy and losing weight is still very important to me. I am still striving to lose weight and work out. But it's not something that I fear being judged by anymore. I no longer feel the need to point out that I know I'm overweight and that I'm working on losing it. The people I have in my life now have shown me that if someone judges based on my body then I really don't want them in my life anyway. And that is a freeing concept that has eluded me for years. But not anymore! They've shown me that it's just not something to focus on because it's just not that important to be one of the skinnies of the world for the sake of acceptance and beauty. I feel good about that! I can now look at it as getting healthy for ME and not as getting skinny for outward reasons.
I AM HAPPY!