Thursday, March 25, 2010
Iím a traitor. An awful, evil traitor. An awful, evil traitor who has done the worst and most awful thing a traitor can do. By embarking on a journey to rid myself of this excess weight and aiming to become healthy and get fit, I am a traitor to the fat subculture.
A traitor to the fat subculture? Seriously? I donít know how making your health a priority is betraying the overweight/obese population of the world, but there are a number of people out there who think what Iím doing right now is wrong. They say I should learn to accept myself. They say I should be happy with my size. They say a whole lot of other things too. I say Bah!
Yes, on the outside I present the appearance of being a happy, healthy fat person. Iíve got a loving husband, great friends, a good life. Hell, I could be the freaking spokesperson for Fat Acceptance. But guess what? Iím not healthy, Iím happy with the things in my life, but every day Iím packing this extra weight I feel bogged down, my body hurts, my knees creak, my lower back hurts if I stand for too long. Donít get me wrong, I like who I am, but the way I feel is an entirely different story.
I appreciate what the Healthy at Every Size and Fat Acceptance Movements are trying to accomplish, but telling me Iím setting back their movements by trying to lose weight? Youíve got to be kidding me. Iím trying to prolong my life here!!!! And my very, very big other issue is those ďfatĒ people who use FA and HAES as their excuse to not do anything, to eat whatever the hell they want, not exercise, and continue to scarf down potato chips while they watch the Biggest Loser on tv and scoff.
The sad reality is that most people who want to lose weight are jealous of those who have, and Ė while they wonít admit it Ė subconsciously want to see those people fail because it means they shouldnít try. When I was in denial, sure Iíd watch those makeover shows and the weight loss success stories, but in the back of my head Iíd say ďit can never last, theyíll just gain it all back again, and more.Ē
In the end, I guess Iím happy to be a traitor, if thatís what I am. This traitorís gonna go back to eating her mini bag of 94% reduced fat popcorn, and canít wait to get on the scale tonight for the official Weekly Weigh-in.