So I took my best friend out for fish and chips last night. She's from England and GOOD FNC is what she misses most about the UK, pro'bly not so much the rest of the food. :-("Thistle" in Lyndhurst NJ, highly recommend for the food, dining room a little industrial or sparse or something, but you really didn't notice that once the food hit the table!)
I had been worried about it because I knew I was going to make a pig out of myself.
To be blunt.
So I had a reasonable breakfast.
A little less lunch than I might otherwise have.
and of course I was STARVING by 4:45 and I wasn't picking her up till 6:00 and it would be a half hour drive.
I had a couple little snacks (hummus on wasa and a few almonds).
In theory that should have helped or been enough.
Yeah right. On someone ELSE'S plate.
Extra water, gum... anything.
Cut to the restaurant.
we shared a meat pie appetizer (small, tasty, only about 6 bites each.)
we shared a salad
then we each got our own plate of FNC and our own DESSERT.
Plus a glass of wine.
and on the way home, stuffed to the very top, I waited for the "binge guilt" that in my younger years would have had me on my knees in the bathroom (as I'm a recovering binge/purger).
and it didn't come.
Realized she and I really shared the wrong things...
(should have had my OWN salad and shared the FNC and the really stunning rice pudding)
I still thought to myself, and told my husband too, "I cannot beat myself up over this. I know I've had an entire 'nother days worth of calories in this one meal, but if I can't let go once in a while, I'm not going to be able to keep doing this. It's not going to be a lifestyle I'm going to be able to maintain."
I also think that the lack of guilt has to do with the fact that I PLANNED this "binge." It wasn't emotional eating.
I've always been such an "all or nothing" type. One off day soured my whole attitude about the whole thing. The Flylady has helped me to realize that perfectionism is a truly bad thing, at least when it comes to ME and the things that I choose to be perfectionistic about.
Oh, and revenge is mine sayeth the fish and chips and apple bread pudding with ice cream, I hardly slept at all last night.
I was too full...
And revenge is also MINE, sayeth the bathroom scale.
My former 11 pound loss is now a 9 pound loss. :-(
So I'm going outside to drag firewood around the yard and clean off the deck and take the dog for a walk...
and have a smoothie for lunch.
I'm gonna move today...
and think about the idea of balance...
and how often is too often for a treat night like that and when it becomes just bad eating again...
And I'm gonna look at my YES pictures and remind myself that NOTHING tastes better than looking like this!