wow. i cant remember the last time i was this sore. and from me doing it all by myself and not following a dvd or anything, im pretty impressed with myself.
but because i am so tired and sore, i only did three hours on the bike today. but i did do 15 times up the stairs, so maybe that will help in the cause.
:o)

i hope to have a better day tomorrow.

i am struggling it seems like with food. today i was starving all day. like, i ate breakfast and my tummy was still rumbly and it shouldnt have been since my breakfast was 520 calories. (two eggs with cheese and broccoli, two fake sausage patties, and toast)
so i am at 2500 calories on the dot. i will end probably 2700 calories, 200 calories over spark range. and a LOT higher than i wanted to be.
why cant i get down to 1500-1600??

today was also tough cos i had to wash the sheets and blankies, and i had to clean the house cos the boyfriend's friend was coming over. and i had to make dinner for them. (not that i dont normally make dinner but i go by recipes when there is company. otherwise, i just throw stuff together for the boyfriend and hope for the best)

also, i faced down a major trigger food today. kinda won, kinda lost. could have done better by just ignoring it but i didnt.
so i had 3/4 cup garden rotini pasta (my favorite) with light butter and parmesan cheese.
and then the boyfriend brought home garlic bread. i had asked him to for his meal but i hadnt really thought about me and it.
well, i had three pieces of texas toast.

food is such an issue for me lately. its fine, i guess, as long as i still fight it but i wonder why it is such an issue. normally i can live with it, not peacefully but it doesnt normally gnaw at me every single moment.
stupid food.
i hate food.
i am thankful for food but i still hate it.