i got in four hours on the bike.
i also made a few decisions.
i hate--loathe--doing standing abs on exercise tv. none of the exercises are that terribly difficult but i just hate doing it. so i decided to not do it any longer. i know the exercises so i just did it on my own, each individual exercise.
i also decided to do a some leg toning exercises that i remember from denise austin. so i did those, too. all in all, i did 23 different leg/ab exercises, most of them 30 times each. and i walked up the stairs 10 times.
i did some of my arm workout but i wasnt feeling it. i did 17 arm exercises but did not do 12 arm exercises. but, you know....whatever.
i hated every single second of the arm workout so i just couldnt finish.
i am ending the day today at 2175 calories. but, we ate after 8pm tonite cos he went to the gym. so i was hugry.
right so i took a spark poll--what motivates you: the scale or living a longer, healthier life.
i voted the scale.
most did not.
i dont know. i would like to ay that i am motivated by my health but i am not. the truth is, my health sucks and will suck either way. being fat gives me a little more warmth, which i need. [obviously i will not stay fat because of this because i will be cold either way]
i dont know. it is not the scale necessarily either. it is not how i look, exactly, either. it is more of being uncomfortable in my own skin. when it is all said and done, i just want to feel more like myself. the myself i actually liked.
i want to be ...someone who can be carefree, at least on the surface. i want to be an athlete. i want to run, dance, jog. i want to ...be the one who is envied. not for my thin, trim body but for my strength. i want to be always on the move. getting my calorie burn incidentally because i am doing something i love even if it is as simple as walking the dog. [i would say jogging with them but if you knew my boys, you would know that there is a better chance of it raining meatballs than getting these two to jog]
i want to hear wow, that dog is bigger than you.
i want to hear, how can you do that?
i want to hear you are strong.
i do not want to have to worry about seeing people i know, people i havent seen in a long time. i do not want to be embarrassed of myself any longer.