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    KIYOSHI04   60,921
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60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
why i want to be thin. and its not for my health.

Monday, March 22, 2010



i got in four hours on the bike.
i also made a few decisions.
i hate--loathe--doing standing abs on exercise tv. none of the exercises are that terribly difficult but i just hate doing it. so i decided to not do it any longer. i know the exercises so i just did it on my own, each individual exercise.
i also decided to do a some leg toning exercises that i remember from denise austin. so i did those, too. all in all, i did 23 different leg/ab exercises, most of them 30 times each. and i walked up the stairs 10 times.

i did some of my arm workout but i wasnt feeling it. i did 17 arm exercises but did not do 12 arm exercises. but, you know....whatever.
i hated every single second of the arm workout so i just couldnt finish.

i am ending the day today at 2175 calories. but, we ate after 8pm tonite cos he went to the gym. so i was hugry.

right so i took a spark poll--what motivates you: the scale or living a longer, healthier life.
i voted the scale.
most did not.

i dont know. i would like to ay that i am motivated by my health but i am not. the truth is, my health sucks and will suck either way. being fat gives me a little more warmth, which i need. [obviously i will not stay fat because of this because i will be cold either way]

i dont know. it is not the scale necessarily either. it is not how i look, exactly, either. it is more of being uncomfortable in my own skin. when it is all said and done, i just want to feel more like myself. the myself i actually liked.

i want to be ...someone who can be carefree, at least on the surface. i want to be an athlete. i want to run, dance, jog. i want to ...be the one who is envied. not for my thin, trim body but for my strength. i want to be always on the move. getting my calorie burn incidentally because i am doing something i love even if it is as simple as walking the dog. [i would say jogging with them but if you knew my boys, you would know that there is a better chance of it raining meatballs than getting these two to jog]

i want to hear wow, that dog is bigger than you.
i want to hear, how can you do that?
i want to hear you are strong.

i do not want to have to worry about seeing people i know, people i havent seen in a long time. i do not want to be embarrassed of myself any longer.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLAYSGAL 3/23/2010 6:35AM

    I dunno, sounds like pretty good reasoning an motivation to me! An its obviously working for you. Dont blame you on changing up on the exercise, it can get boring as hell. An when it gets same ole same ole you find yourself looking for reasons not to do it. I hate strength training, didnt see the point, was all about the cardio. Then the other day hubby an I were putting in our garden. I spent alot of time squatting up an down to plant the seeds. Not so bad at the time (except I kept getting light headed at first). But the two days after showed me what the strength training is for!!!! My thigh an calf muscles hurt soooo bad I couldnt sleep at night, an I walked like I was 100 years old. So now I will add some core/strength training. Keep up the good work, an here's a emoticon to help you stand strong against the stress eating.

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