Monday, March 22, 2010
Stress can sure make this journey more difficult. I never knew you could have so much stress at one time. My life has taken an interesting twist since the first of the year. Last year we had to move DH's mom and step dad into an assisted living apartment. It was not what they wanted, but the doctor had deemed it a necessary, because of his mom's alzheimer's and his step dad arthritis. They really couldn't take care of themselves Eventually they agreed and it proved to be just what they needed. Living 400 miles away, we didn't realize just how bad it had gotten until we started to clean their house. There were bills that hadn't been paid in months and just so much not dealt with. After several weeks we got things straightened out. All went well for several months.
In the fall his step dad started having stomach problems and couldn't eat. He was in and out of the hospital for two months before having to go into a nursing home. He continued to deteriorate until January when he went into the hospital. He passed away in February. We were there for the last week of his life and spent many hours by his side during that time. He was retired military and as such had everything pre-arranged which was a blessing. Telling his mom was so hard because she didn't understand. She finally understood when she was at the visitation and saw him in the casket and when she was presented with the flag at the funeral. We remained up there with her for awhile. We continued to go back & forth quite often.
We had a trip planned there to celebrate some family birthdays and spend time with her when we got the call that she cannot stay at the apartment anymore. She needs more care than they are licensed to give her. So we went up there several days early and talked to the nurses there. His mom has really gone down and it was heartbreaking to see how much in the two weeks we had been home. So we spent several days visiting places to move her to. It was such a difficult decision, but we have found a wonderful place. It is bright and sunny and they have a lot of programs to help her. It also came highly recommended by people we knew. So now we are in the process of making the necessary arrangements. We now have to explain all of this to her. That is where the real stress will be...making her understand. She gets confused so easily.
DH retires on April 2 and we will not move her until that next week. That way we can spend some time with her helping her adjust. But we will also have to go home to start getting things ready for our move back there. Since we will be moving into their old house, we have a lot of work to get done to prepare it. I am not looking forward to the next several months. Between all the work and the traveling back & forth and taking care of her, it will be chaotic. She has been a part of my life for 37 years. She is such a sweet lady and it is so hard to see her like this...like a child in so many ways.
So now I hit a plateau...not losing, but not gaining. I know I need to work harder to make sure I eat right and get the necessary exercise, but some days I just want to crawl back in bed and put the covers over my head and let the world go by. Unfortunately that isn't possible. They say the tough times will make you stronger, I sure hope so. My grandmother used to tell us that God never gives you more than you can handle. I wish He didn't trust me so much.
And so another day goes by...