Sunday, March 21, 2010
There's so many things that go through my head like one of those signs that light up in words scrolling across the screen.
When I look at people's spark pages, I always look to see when they joined. I've seen many who joined a year ago and now have 75 or 100 pounds off and I think "if only I had joined last year I'd have so much more off already!" My SP join date is 1-7-10. I so wish I could change it to 1-7-09 and look at my weight meter and see that I already met my first big goal of 100 pounds off in a year. But I have to earn it, day by day for all of 2010 and hopefully someone who joins in January of 2011 can look at my page and think the same thing. I go to the gym 6 days a week and really work. I'm always refining my eating habits and have been doing well staying within my calorie range so I should get there if I keep on keeping on. Whew....it's hard to be patient!
I think about my knee with the pain and poor range of motion and wonder if I'll ever be able to ride a bike again or walk up steps like most people do...one foot on each step. At this point I have to lead with my good leg and put the "bad" leg on the same step before advancing to the next one.
My husband and I may be moving, and there's so much to think about with that too. We work with a group of families originally from Burma who moved here from a refugee camp in Thailand. Christian Freedom International is based out of our city, and the president bought a motel and converted the motel rooms into homes for the people. He's going to be moving back to Thailand to work with more people and asked if we would be willing to oversee the motel. We really should live on the premesis to do it correctly. So we are looking at the house next door to the motel to possibly buy. If not that, then we would sell our house and renovate a suite for ourselves at the motel. This all brings so much to think about, not the least of which is our two large dogs and how they would fit in. We would also have to eliminate well over half of our possessions if we move to the motel instead of the house. Now there's a topic with a lot to think about!
Another topic tiptoeing through my brain cells is what size clothes I'll wear when I complete my weight loss. I have been large for so long that I have no idea what size I'll be at 170 pounds or 150 or 135 pounds. I don't even know if I can get that low. And if I do, what about all the extra skin I'll have, and will it be hanging on me? At 60 it won't just tighten back up because I'm sure I've lost elasticity. Will I be wearing tight undergarments to hold it all in? I don't have insurance that will pay for excess skin removal or a lift of my face or any other part of my body. So even if I'm a size 12 for instance, will I look like it? What kind of shape will I have? Not on a scale with global warming or world hunger, but something to think about anyway.
I'm also thinking about how I could earn some money. I did have a job before my knee replacement, but while I was healing the business closed. I live in a small town and jobs are VERY few and far between. I'm not ready to work at this point. My knee is still healing. Also I've had 2 strokes and my memory is not as good as it used to be . I will be interested to see what I can come up with when I'm ready to go back to work. In the past I've been an x-ray technician and a medical transcriptionist. I'd like to find something working with people because I love people and get along well with them.
One thinG I know for sure...it's been a very long winter and Spring is here. There is so much sun now and hints of warmth to come. I may be going through everything we own and getting rid of a lot of it and packing for a new home. I'll be outside a lot and my brain can have a little rest as I work on the yard and get ready for warm weather. That's not something I have to wonder about!