Tuesday, March 16, 2010
When "Spark" was announced, the timing could not have been more perfect for me. My general health had deteriorated, my weight was up as a result of medications and an enforced sedentary lifestyle,and I was ready to re-establish a healthy balance in my life. Being a member for some time I knew this book would fe fundamental in helping me to find my way back. I was particularly drawn to the exercises and chapter ugides. I ordered the book with the intent of taking my time and completing each exercise as suggested along with my reading. Once, again, I am learning that things don't often happen in my time-they happen when the time is right. This is a difficult lesson for me, and one I am constantly working with. Thhe point is, however, when I received my compy of "Spark" I was unable to access my computer on a regular basis. The result is predictable. I completed the book, and am now following up with the exercises. Admittedly, I can see benefits in working in this manner. When I learn of positive or creative ways of self-improvement my usual practice is to file it away to complete more thoroughly "someday." Usually to be forgotten. My intentions are sincere, but without taking action little or no gain is made. This time is different. I have challenged myself to hold back until I have actually taken the time to complete the action steps suggested. Putting my ideas in written form allows me to see beyond what I believed possible.
Completing Chapter 5 has been very difficult for me. It has been in many ways quite overwhelming. It has forced me to take a hard look at myself and to see that along with all of those things I don't like about myself, there are some things inside with the potential to produce good, and to transform into the kind of person I would like to be. It provided me with insights into who I am, what I believe-and the source of these beliefs. Most important it is becoming more evident what I want for myself.
I have a choice-either to allow myself to follow the old pattern of immobilization when I fall short of perfection, or to continue. I have chosen to take the challenge and move forward, which is the only way I can grow.