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    ANGELFROG515   14,767
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It's really hard to love such ugly legs

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I've never had nice legs. I want nice legs though, so badly I don't really want to think what I'd be willing to do to get them. But yesterday, walking out of the locker room I had to come face to face with the ugly truth yet again as I passed in front of that god awful full length mirror: I have awful legs. My calves are too big to fit in knee high boots, even though they are very toned. My knees have become what I affectionatly call "butt knees" because the skin is very loose and flabby around them, which has become worse the more weight I lose. My thighs are dimpled with cellulite and plighted by the occasional vericose and spider vein. No matter how hard I've been working over the past two years to improve my body and my health, it seems my legs are not cooperating in the least. Things only get worse as the weather starts to warm up and my concealing full-length workout pants become more and more obvious as a band-aid rather than a fashion statement. I feel like a very pretty and good looking person from the navel up, but the rest of me seems monstrous. And what kills me is that I have never been "THAT" overweight. I look at pictures of people who had 100lbs on me at my heaviest and now that they've dropped the weight they look like whole new people. And I did my research on them to see if they had surgery to remove excess skin--the ones I felt looked really good had not. I'm having a very hard time loving this body right now, and I know that there will be plenty of comments of encouragement and also telling me just how much I need to be kinder to myself and love my body the way it is. But I can't love these legs right now. And what's more is that I just don't believe anymore that I can get them to look any better. No matter how much more weight I lose. I am not quitting, I'm too healthy now to go back. But, knowing that as hard as I have and will work that it still won't do what I desperately need it to--knowing also that I'll never have the money to fix it--it really makes me heartsick at the moment.

I'm sorry that this blog is so awful. If I can't get into a better frame of mind, I may have to take a break from blogging just so I don't depress the whole site! emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CSIAAAA 10/2/2012 11:11AM

  Im sorry but are you people serious? "id rather have no legs and be crippled" what kind of a dumb thing is that to say? Absolutely idiodic! My 13 yr old sister has no function in her legs... She will never be able to walk down the aisle or play sports with her children... So pardon me if im not sympathetic in the least with all of ur PATHETIC sob stories - stop picking on trivial sht and b thankful those ugly legs can walk! Im not even going to show my sister this it would honestly upset and frustrate her.

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CSIAAAA 10/2/2012 11:09AM

  Im sorry but are you people serious? "id rather have no legs and be crippled" what kind of a dumb thing is that to say? Absolutely idiodic! My 13 yr old sister has no function in her legs... She will never be able to walk down the aisle or play sports with her children... So pardon me if im not sympathetic in the least with all of ur PATHETIC sob stories - stop picking on trivial sht and b thankful those ugly legs can walk! Im not even going to show my sister this it would honestly upset and frustrate her.

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CSIAAAA 10/2/2012 11:08AM

  Im sorry but are you people serious? "id rather have no legs and be crippled" what kind of a stupid thing is that to say? Absolutely idiodic! My 13 yr old sister has no function in her legs... She will never be able to walk down the aisle or play sports with her children... So pardon me if im not sympathetic in the least with all of ur PATHETIC sob stories - stop picking on trivial sht and b thankful those ugly legs can walk! Im not even going to show my sister this it would honestly upset and frustrate her.

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CSIAAAA 10/2/2012 11:08AM

  Im sorry but are you people serious? "id rather have no legs and be crippled" what kind of a stupid thing is that to say? Absolutely idiodic! My 13 yr old sister has no function in her legs... She will never be able to walk down the aisle or play sports with her children... So pardon me if im not sympathetic in the least with all of ur PATHETIC sob stories - stop picking on trivial sht and b thankful those ugly legs can walk, idiots. Im not even going to show my sister this it would honestly upset and frustrate her.

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CSIAAAA 10/2/2012 11:07AM

  Im sorry but are you people serious? "id rather have no legs and be crippled" what kind of a stupid thing is that to say? Absolutely idiodic! My 13 yr old sister has no function in her legs... She will never be able to walk down the aisle or play sports with her children... So pardon me if im not sympathetic in the least with all of ur PATHETIC sob stories - stop picking on trivial sht and b thankful those ugly legs can walk, idiots. Im not even going to show my sister this it would honestly upset and frustrate her.

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COOKIEBUNNIE 10/12/2011 7:57PM

  I feel exactly the same, my legs are ugly.. at first I thought it was my ass that made me look weird...but then I realize, it was my legs. Looking back at my childhood pictures, I thought my legs look fine, like a normal person, but since I reached puberty, I have NEVER look good in a mini-skirt or shorts. When I was still young, I was determined and I refuse to accept that I have to live with this.

So my whole life till now, was dedicated to losing weight. I exercise, did cardio and strength training, kick-boxing, watched what I eat...a steady 10yrs have gone by. I'm now in my thirties..legs uglier than ever...plus aging have lower my body's metabolism. You can imagine my dismay when I started putting on pounds all over. I'm tired, tired of all these years of exercising, eating healthy, and yet my lower body is like dough, one whole lumpy dough...and yet it seems I've gone backwards now. I've lost all hope.

And I really hate it when skinny people complain how ugly or how fat they feel, I wish I could just strip of my pants and show them my legs, so they might just for once be grateful with what they have...just for once appreciate their body.

Yes..I feel like I've been cursed with this defect...its not even a pear-shaped, I've seen pear-shaped girls with nicer legs. I figured its too late for me to do anything now, unless I do a lipo..but I dont have the financial means for that. Sometimes I get so depress, I would rather be without my legs, I rather be crippled than to have these pair of legs. I hate this life.

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MENUNU 3/23/2010 3:00PM

    I know i'm late to hop on your leg-hating bandwagon, but here I am.

I have also had a huge battle with my legs. I'm 5'3" and my legs are short. I have huge calves, and could never wear knee high boots. I actually only recently found a pair that was flexible enough to fit them. I also have a huge tan birthmark on the front of my left thigh. It is shaped like an oval, and it's almost two inches long. I got over the birthmark thing pretty quickly though, and now I have come to like it. This entry on your blog reminded me of something that I haven't thought about in years:

When I was in ninth grade-ish, I went to a music camp over the summer at a local college. And, my roommate and I decided to go check out some of the boys at the lacrosse camp who were staying at the college too. I've always had a lot of body confidence. My family jokes with me and tells me that I've always had "Reverse body dismorphic disorder" meaning that I've always thought that I've looked better than I actually do. Anyway, the girl who was my roommate at the time, was skinnier than me, of course, but not by that much. We chatted up some boys, and for that week we kept going down to see them on our breaks from music stuff. Well, these boys weren't even that cute or cool, but I was just kinda going to be a "winggirl" for my roommate. Anyway, one day, as we were going down to see them, one of them (the less-attractive one, of course) yelled "I see thunder in the distance." And Jessie (my roommate) and I didn't really know what that was all about. As it turns out, he was referencing my "thunder thighs." Yeah. The ugly semi-overweight guy, was talking about my "thunder thighs." I was mortified. Because, I was 14, my body was still developing, of course I was self conscious, and I had always thought that I was kind of cute. I had never had problems getting boyfriends or anything.... And I had never shied away from wearing shorts. And now, I'm 14, and I have thunder thighs!? Needless to say, my roommate sucked, and didn't stick up for me or anything. And granted, these boys were like 14 or 15 and super obnoxious, never mind the fact that I wasn't looking twice at either of them. But, I think that comment has stayed with me forever, and shorts and I have been enemies ever since.

I'm now 27, I have developed a much better relationship with my legs. They're never going to be slim. No matter what I do. I actually ended up getting a tattoo piece on my calf when I was 24ish, almost in defiance of anyone who would dare criticize my legs. Also, as it turns out, I married someone who thinks that big legs are SO HAWT. I kinda lucked out on that end (even though we are separated heh...) But my point is, that you may never love your legs. Ever. I don't love mine. But, you may someday, for brief periods of time, feel semi-comfortable in them. And that's okay. You don't have to love them.

Everyone on here has made some good comments, and mostly I agree with them. And don't forget, your legs look worse to you than they do to anyone else. Most people, honestly, don't see the same things you do. And that is the truth. My mom used to say it to me all the time "Oh, honey, no body even notices that pimple." And I'm not sure if it ever helped, or made me feel better or not. But I'm gonna say it to you now, just in case.

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NOBLECABOOSE 3/18/2010 7:30PM

    Is there a part of your body that you love? Boobs, back, even your ears or lips, anything! It sounds cheesy, but if you focus your attention on the part of your body you love, every time you look at your legs, it might make you feel better. Personally, I hate my thighs. I hate, hate, hate them! But when I find myself staring at them, then I look at my neck, which I like, and I go, 'OK, I'm not so bad.' Having a part of your body to work on can be a great motivator, but not if it makes you obsess and dislike yourself. Sometimes cheesy tricks can help you love yourself and stay positive.
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Comment edited on: 3/18/2010 7:35:52 PM

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WOLFPACKROB 3/16/2010 5:06PM

    I think we all have areas of our bodies we want to improve. They will get better with more weight loss, but I think that you may need to be more creative with your leg workouts. Weightlifting, jumping rope, or more explosive leg exercises will help shape your legs. Cardio and weight training go hand in hand. Take care.

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MEGANC1988 3/16/2010 2:23PM

    emoticon First off, never feel bad about a depressing blog, we all have them, and it's important that when you need support you can get it.

Have you thought about trying something like pilates or yoga? Something that can relax you, but also after time even if you're still not able to get the appearance in your legs you want, you may start to feel how strong they are, and empower yourself through that.

Legs are the worst, but every one has cellulate and vericose veins, we just don't think that sometimes because airbrushing and photoshop are deceptive creatures.

I hate my feet, I hate them SO much (and no amount of weightloss will fix that). When I'm having a "bad foot day", I go get a pedicure, having some one rub my feet while I read a magazine makes me feel better about the things I cannot change.

Good luck! emoticon

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ETWBOK 3/16/2010 1:14PM

    It not an awful blog! I understand totally feeling this way but never give up hope! Who knows what the future holds?

I hate my arms and my skin. I look in the mirror and see my mothers (gasp) arms. I haven't worn sleeveless tops in public for years and I live in SE Texas where it's HOT in the summer. My skin is thin and my veins show and I don't have varicose veins or spider veins, just my normal blood hauling around my body veins show through my thin skin. I always wanted that nice thick skin (and I need thick skin in the other way too) that looks so ...nice. No veins, no crepe paper texture and a nice olive tone. But I got pasty white, thin, skin! However, I learned to embrace it.

I tell you what I find most sexy and appealing on anyone and that is confidence. Not pride or arrogance but just a true confident attitude. I have found myself attracted to the least physically attractive man in the room (when I was single!) and envious of the least attractive woman because their confidence radiated out of their pores! They are the one's everyone wants to talk to and invite out to dinner or to the party.

Anyway, ELI1974 is right, the inner beauty is most important. Find that and let it shine and those other things will seem less important or at least they won't get you heartsick.

(and we are usually so much more critical of ourselves than others see us so I bet those thighs aren't as bad as you think)

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ELI1974 3/16/2010 12:09PM

  iT'S OK YOU R NOT ALONE. I HAVE ALSO THE SOME LEGS LIKE U MAYBE EVEN WORSE, BUT DON'T LET UR LEGS TAKE OVER UR FEELINGS AND CARING FOR URSELF. i JUST JOIEND HERE AND I HOPING FOR THE BETTER. SO, PLS BE KIND TO URSELF AND SEE THE INNER YOU THAT'S WHAT MATTERS THE MOST. emoticon

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