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    SANSMAYHEM   787
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A case of the blahs


Monday, March 15, 2010

Every have one of those weeks where ya just feel like total crap and can't explain why? and to make matters worse, you're so sapped of energy that it's all ya can do to get outta bed, let alone get to the gym?

Welcome to the past week (sigh)

I was doin awesome - For 5 weeks I was a workout saint. I rode my bike every day, doing either the 5 mile loop, or sometimes doubling it and doing 10 miles. I was going to the gym at a minimum of 4 days a week, usually 5. I was eating right, feeling great. This is my new routine and I was loving it...

Then I woke up last Monday morn and I was so friggin tired I felt like I would fall over if I tried to dump the trash, let alone work out. But, being sworn to my mission, I got on my bike and headed out - determined to keep with the program.

I didn't go a flippin mile before I felt horrible. I was so shakey I had to walk the bike to the gym, didn't even try to finish the other 4 miles, just counted myself lucky to make it to the gym. I did a very lame workout, the whole time feeling like I could fall over. Common sense kicked in and I said forget this, I'm obviously sick with something, so stop - and I went home.

Problem is, I wasn't sick, not that I could tell at least. I didn't have the flu, or a cold, and other than the usual allergy stuffiness, I was fine. So what the flamin heck happened? This kept up for the whole week. No energy, so sapped I felt shakey just goin for a walk, and exhausted.

It's Monday now - a week since this started - and I still have no clue whats goin on here. I feel slightly better today, but still felt too fraggin shakey to ride. And (this made me laugh) I'm missin my torturous bike rides and workouts. I'm upset that I've missed a week of both, and angry at myself for breaking the routine - especially for a mystery illness I can't fathom.

Bout the only significant thing going on with me right this minute is the incredible level of stress I'm under as I look for a job (no unemploy avail to me unfortunately). Him and I have been short tempered with each other as the stress level of his being laid off and me not being able to find work eats at both of us. And while all this is goin on I feel absolutely mentally tapped out and overwhelmed by all of it and ticked off that I can't find work and anxious bout where our life and relationship is gonna go if this lack of work keeps up.

Could this case of the physical blahs be a physical manifestation of my emotional maxed-out state? I dunno... I just know I NEED to workout out and ride, it's bout the only thing that's giving me a sense of accomplishment lately, so feeling so sapped with this mystery blahs thing is cuttin the feet out from under me.

Not sure what to do, what to think... just know right now I'm needing to get back to it but feeling like someone emptied my tank and I don't got the gas to do it...

G
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