Me and the pinata. hehe
Me and my sistah @ underground Atlanta
I just realized it has been a month since my last blog. Funny!
I am really struggling here guys. I had been doing soo good. I made a commitment in January and stuck to it. In Febuary, I still stayed on and was loving it. My "sis" came on March 2nd, and I felt like the strongest person in the diet world. Food had no pawer, and it wasn't even hard to eat right. My party came and went, my sister left, and this last week has been a diet nightmare. I have eeked out one or 2 good eating days this week. The rest of them were binge filled, carb loaded, and AWFUL. One day I didn't even care. I tried to remember why I was trying to eat good. Trying to remember WHY I really even cared. The days have been cloudy, rainy, boring. I am stressing big time about finances, and everything just seems dark and heavy. When I lived in the midwest, I used to experience SADD, (winters were mostly cloudy and gloomy) so the weather may have something to do with it, too. I have gotten in a few workouts, which even then I had to literally FORCE myself to do. And the only reason I even found that strength was b/c I had to "report" to Angela and Heather. so I got on Spark to see how everyone else was totally kicking butt, and found some motivation to get it done. :) (Thanks for all you inspiring ladies!!)
So now I am freaking out. I feel like I just went right back up to 280+ pounds, even though my clothes are fitting the same, I am TERRIFIED. I am back up to 230, when a month ago I was at 227. So in over a month, I have GAINED 3 lbs and lost none. AAARRRRGGGHH I just wish I could stop this cycle. I can usually do low carb and lose the cravings, but since I had given myself a "free" weekend, I had plenty of carbs in my system, and that on top of it the lack of mental strength, I got in ONE good low carb day, and the next day I broke it, and binge ate. I just feel so weak mentally. I have figured out that I can make a commitment to myself and stick to it. This was an AMAZING realization. It was very free-ing. This week, it was NOT THERE. I "commited" to my low carb, and before I knew it, I was bingeing. I committed the next day and lost it again. The day after I just said screw it. BLAH
So, I am thinking of how to get back on track.
My first step is to go get my workout in, as soon as I finish this blog. I have learned that exercising does help me keep my focus, even if I am not giving it 100%, it helps. I am commiting here to me and all of you that read this, that I will do my CLX Push circuit, PLUS at least 20 minutes of cardio.
My next step will be to figure out a food plan (I will decide during my workout) I am going to write out my plan, and commit to sticking to it. I MUST do this. I suspect that part of the reason I was so strong in the previous couple of months was b/c I knew that my sis was coming, and I was soo determined to look my best. I need to find that spark again. It was great to feel so motivated that nothing was getting in my way! lol
My third plan of action is to write out my goals, in black and white. I will focus on these more, if I write them out.
WEll, i am still down 50 lbs, I am still getting comments on my weight loss, and my clothes are even looser than they were 2 months ago. I need to focus on the positive, and keep going. If anyone has any ideas, tips, or encouragement, please feel free to share!!! :):)