ayman was really bad again yesturday and in the night(not that he has been really healthy for a long time)but he was a lot worse.so this morning was back to the dr and she has put him once again on what she calls the full programme.which means a lot of stress for me which usually means emotional eating.he is back on anti biotics,pulmicort,salbutamol and atrovent.(means 4-5 hours daily on the pariboy/nebuliser)which mean constant physical and emotional fights.even though ayman is only 15 months when he fights to stop me keeping the mask over his mouth and nose he is surprisingly strong,and the screaming that goes with it really gats to you.my husband can´t cope with it and tends to go out.either that or say´s i have to stop the treatment which is also not really an option.i also have to start doing physio therapy with him again at least 4 times aday.,basically it is like hitting him on his back in a certain place with certain force and doing like a vibring massage on his chest at the front to help clear his lungs.when you think i have the other two children to deal with with there therapies as well and having the dr coming everyday to check on ayman you can imagine the stress.but it is better than ayman being in hospital i suppose though it still might come to that if his fever doesn´t come down.did i mention he had fever as well?and for the first time he has come in an all over rash,the dr say´s it is through the fever.well the reason i am writting this blog when you think i have so little time is to explain why i wont be on the computer much in the next few day´s,or responding to my friends feeds like i usually do or on the challange threads for awhile.hope someone who reads this will pass this on tho the challange threads as i don´t have ther time to go to them.also to try to make myself accountable and not to over eat or eat junk just to give me the feeling of having my much needed energy that i need.this time i am going to try my best not to over eat.i have just got below my 250lbs mark again and it took me so long last time after i over ate in this samer situation that i don´t want to go through that again.i have to try to be strong,to take care of what i eat.find the time to orginise and cook healthily,not just for me but for my whole family.some times the time to cook just isn´t there with all the medical needs.wish me luck that this time i can break my habbit of emotional eating which seems to go hand in hand with ayman´s full programme as the dr say´s.thanks for taking the time to listen to my ramblings.