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    SHELEEN1   8,809
8,500-9,999 SparkPoints

More than a year...

Monday, March 08, 2010

Yes, it's been more than a year since I 'sparked'.
What can I say?
I have excuses... illness and suchlike - but to be honest, it's shame that stopped me coming here... shame and downright laziness.
In one year, I went from a size 8 to a size 20... and I hate it so much. I've become introverted again - staying in and almost totally agoraphobic once more. How could I have let this happen? I put on 5 stone - that's 70lb!!!
I have two wardrobes full of the most amazing clothes... and NONE of them fit any longer. I need to lose so much weight - my life is at a standstill until I can sort this out. I give myself a year to get myself back to who I want - no, who I NEED - to be. Maybe being back on here and blogging, seeing progress (or not...we'll see) will help me get back the real me.
I'm 41 years old now... maybe turning 40 was a catalyst - in a bad way - that made me feel so low and start to become lazy and fat again. In any case, I don't want to slip quietly and scared into my fifties being fat and afraid. I want to be vivacious and happy - and slim enough to enjoy my life... before it slips away.

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