Thursday, March 04, 2010
After an amazing weekend (it literally changed my life forever) and two trips to the sushi bar that is a minute's walk from my new apartment I am feeling really great. I am not moved in yet, but the prospect of living and working and going to church and the grocery all within a 5 minute walk is incredibly exciting. The Y is a mile away (and that is going to be my c25k starter) and with this one little weekend my life became so much less complicated.
It's a long time coming. In my life I have made decisions that led to messes and I didn't have the equipment to extract myself from them as easily or arrogantly as I had rushed into them. But now the tide has turned, FINALLY.
It has taken a long time for me to accept them as bad decisions and not just bad luck or God punishing me for some obscure and unknowable reason (so lame, so lame) and just turn around and go the other way -- you know, sometimes you spend so much time and energy on proving you didn't make a mistake? That is just hubris, out-of-the-box seven-deadly-sins pride, but it becomes an obsession to some how make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
Of course nobody knows anything about that kind of stubborn foolishness but me, right?
Anyway, all the sudden my life is showing all the signs of having made a different decision and wow, it feels good. It doesn't feel like I have horrible luck or God is punishing me anymore -- interesting how that worked, isn't it?
Now I feel as if I am "blessed and highly favored of the Lord" and that ain't just words to cover up a crap reality. And I am diggin' this, really diggin' it.
And I am not shoving food in my mouth like I am starving or storing up for winter.
Wow. Humans are complex creatures. Who can sort one out?
I was having no luck, but I am so glad that I found Someone who could.