Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Yesterday morning I had a brief but horrifying experience at the gym that made me question my weight loss goal. I had just come from the elliptical machine and bounded over to the free weight area when I caught a glimpse of myself in the wall mirror. Wearing only a tank-shaped workout top, my chest looked like Skeletor on holiday.
I mean, chicken chest + my new muscular shoulders and biceps = maybe I should stop losing weight.
This was the first time I looked sick to myself! With only 14lbs to go, yes, there are some areas of my body that I am liking more than others. I fully acknowledge that during this process I got a little chicken-chested while waiting for my thighs to slim out, which I accepted. But I never wanted to be waif-y or sickly looking!
I put my hoodie back on to cover my skeleton frame, performed my upper body work while watching my shocked face in the mirror and considered the issue on the walk home.
As soon as I got there, I ripped off my clothes and examined myself again in my full length mirrors, trying to gather more information in order to make this decision. I looked normal to myself - a little chicken chested, but not the skeleton figure I saw in the gym.
I wonder though, and I'm sure I will soon see, what is too thin for me? I don't want to hold myself to my goal and end up looking like some poor hungry child in a third world country. I'm serious!
So as of this writing, I will keep on keeping on pound by pound until I reach my goal, monitoring myself carefully for all signs of sickly-lookingness (and increased chicken chestedness). I'm sure it will even itself out, but I just don't want to be thinking that I look great and later determine that I looked like a hat rack.
There, but tweaking the details...