Saturday, February 27, 2010
I weighed myself this morning. 148lbs! Only a lb away from my first GW. But today is my "day off". I got one a week, where I can eat a bit of what I want.
I've been out for lunch with my friends today. I had a roasted vegetable and feta wrap with salad. I didn't eat the chips. We had icecream after. I purged that.
Tonight I've had 'stirfry' veg (no oil). Then I had pudding! Some Ben and Jerrys as my weekly treat. I haven't purged that. But I have taken laxatives and will do a saltwater flush tomorrow so I'm all empty.
I like having one day where I can... be a bit normal. It's usually a Saturday when eating is part of socialising. Two weeks I'll have my brother's girlfriend's birthday - Chinese. In three weeks, my brother and sisters + extras are coming over for drinks and a curry. That's why I have to be so good during the week.
Me and T had an argument this morning. I was trying on clothes. They were baggy tops that made me look fat. He said I looked nice, but I told him I looked fat. He doesn't understand that women - not just me - have a need to dress how they look thinest and that to me means emphasising my waist, the thinnest part of me. I tried to explain... He said he doesn't want a girlfriend that's obsessed with being thin.
I'm not obsessed with being thin. I'm obsessed with food. I'm obsessed with control.