Wednesday, February 24, 2010
So, since just before Christmas, when I hit that magic 100 lbs down, I feel like I have done nothing but lose and regain the same 5 ish pounds. My eating and tracking have gone out the window, my workouts are becoming few and far betwwen, and I am finding old habits resurfacing and the excuses "not to" are starting to overwhelm my thinking.
It is frustrating and demoralizing, because it feels like all of the hard work I have put in the past year is being pushed to the side by my own crappy attitude! :(
I just want to get back to where I was 6 months or so ago: enjoying my workouts, pushing myself hard, careful with my eating, and taking good care of myself.
I have tried "starting fresh" and reevaluating my goals, I have entred in a triathlon in July for a new challenge, we have a new spinning instructor, which is helping to keep my workouts fresh...but nothing seems to work in keeping my attention where it should be. I know that the problem is me, and I am sure there is a lesson in all of this that I need to take with me in order to progress and grow, but right now I just cannot see what it is and I am feeling so negative at the moment that I just don't know how to shake this crappy headspace.
I am 30-40 lbs from goal, and I need to find my momentum again for this last push. How? I feel like I am "bad" because even after all this tme I still fall into the same bloody traps. I am so angry with myself for getting to this point. Then I feel frustrated with myself for being so silly and allowing negative self talk like that to dictate how I feel about myself. Arrrgghh!!! What a silly cycle of self fulfilling stupidity! :S
I need to figure out what will motivate me to get back on track for this final push. Whatwas motivating me before that is missing now? Have my priorities changed? Do my goals need to?? *sigh* I am just so fed up with myself and my poor attitude at the moment. How do I get back on track in my own head? I am pretty sure that is where the problem lies!