Friday, February 19, 2010
I have been going through my weight loss journey for 7 months now and I am regretting not taking more time to write down the emotional aspect of it. We all know it's not easy to get up every day plan and weigh out all the food you're going to eat and resist the ever looming temptations that the day inevitability holds. There is the constant worry about getting the proper portions, correct amounts of protein, carbs and fat. Trying not to eat after a certain time and all the fun stuff that comes with trying to get healthy. Then there is the gym, hours of cardio and strength training, squats, lunges, pull ups and sit ups, pulled muscles and over all exhaustion. Back when I first started I thought this was the hard part of losing weight. What I have discovered the last several months is that the physical part is easy and simple and that it's the emotional aspects that leave me struggling and learning every day.
Everyday I wake up with a purpose. I spent so many years of my life existing and not living and I am finally changing that. It's the most amazing feeling and it also terrifies me at the same time. When I was over 300 lbs I could use my weight as a crutch from everyday life. If anything went wrong it was because I was fat, if someone didn't like me it was because I was fat, or if I wasn't happy it was because I was fat. Now that I am stripping the layers away it's forcing me to look at who I really am and what I want out of life. There are things I never even dreamed of obtaining before and now they are getting closer to being reached. Knowing you can do anything with your life is just as exciting as it is scary.
I am going to attempt to blog about the different things I am going through because every day there are new emotions, fears, and excitement that I am experiencing. I am sure anyone who has lost weight, especially a large amount, can definitely relate.