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    ERIATARKA831   116
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It's Going to Be a Long Road


Thursday, February 18, 2010

I have been away from Sparkpeople for some time now. It's kind of depressing, I had this sense of motivation and I knew where I needed to go. But then, my head got clogged with all the things I had to do, and the places I had to be at. I lost sight of what I needed, what I wanted, and how to get there. I realized that part of my problem was working 2 jobs which I felt blessed to have but cursed at the same time. I did not have time to do the things I wanted or needed to do. I didn't have a day to myself to do anything because a day off from my full time job, meant a days work at my other. The stress was overwhelming and I became so exhausted I would find myself going home and crashing on my bed, neglecting to take better care of myself.

I made the decision a week ago to put in my two weeks at my part time job. Its sad and I felt blessed to have two jobs because I know many people are struggling to have one. However, I am giving an opportunity to give a job to someone else, and in addition paying better attention to myself and making time to do what I need to do.

One good thing that I have done since I have been absent from the Sparkpeople (temporarily) is that I did sign up at the gym. Yes, I know, I never thought I would actually do it, but I made the leap. I know that I am one out of many people who feared the gym or at least was a bit intimidated. I felt like I would be the center of attention because I would be a new face, and a new body type. However, I realized that those thoughts were put in there by my insecurity and if I never overcome them, my insecurity and unhappiness could fester into something much larger than I can handle.

So, I got the courage to go to the gym, and I even bought new gym clothes to motivate me to go. When I got in there, I looked at the ground and walked to the girl's changing room. I put my coat on the hanger and turned my iPod on and walked back into the gym room and onto an elliptical where I started a very light workout. I didn't notice many people looking at me, and I realized most people looked at their televisions and/or listened to the music and focused on themselves. I felt relieved and more comfortable. I am happy that I made that decision, I now go on a 3 days a week basis, and eventually hope to increase it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
TEGOCHU 2/18/2010 5:45PM

    That's too bad that you had to quit your part-time job, but you did it with your own best interests in mind, so good choice!

That's great that you joined the gym! :) I was self-conscious and worried about what people would think of me when I first started going, but I quickly found out that no really cares at all. You could be 120 pounds or 300 pounds, either way you're there to better yourself and exercise and I think people respect that! :)

Keep up the good work! emoticon

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