Tough day, struggling here
Thursday, February 18, 2010
We've had stomach flu pass through our house, and everybody came through fine except for my daughter who has really been ill. I stayed home from work today to take care of her, and to try to rehydrate her, because when I took her to the doctor yesterday she said that she may need IV electrolytes if things didn't improve.
I found out that in my absence my best at-work friend had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do feel terribly guilty. I know that there is nothing I could have done to prevent this, but it really has me upset that I wasn't there for her.
I think part of the reason I have ended up at my highest weight of 257lbs was my constant need to take care of others, and my lack of ability to care for myself. I'm a mom, and a nurse, so sometimes there is no way around this simple reality, but I think I need help from some of the other sparkers on how to take care of myself when those around me are having troubles. I am really struggling today, and I am so afraid of emotional eating, and slipping back into my pattern of putting myself last, that I haven't eaten anything today because I just can't come up with the right idea.