Yesterday was Valentine's Day. The day of Valentine cards, poems, love songs, and chocolate. It was" a day that will live in infamy", to quote the wise sage Winston Churchill.
I am afraid it will also become known as a day that will live in infamy on my scale and measuring tape.
I was a guest speaker at a High Tea yesterday.
I got all dressed up, wore my heart necklace and earrings from a Valentine's day long ago, and to be honest, I looked good.
I had never been to the place where the Tea was being held, so I appropriately had my printed out map from Google AND had programmed my GPS.
The tank was full of gas.
I left plenty early enough "just in case".
Everything was going smoothly........until I got there.
I was greeted very warmly, with smiles and hugs from a lot of people I had never met, which was really very nice.
Then I was led into the room where the event was taking place.
The table decorations on the white cloths were really something! The Decoration Committee had really outdone themselves! Absolutely lovely. There were red roses, shiny red heart confetti, and those curly wire things that have red hearts on them. And there was a lot of chocolate candies sprinkled lavishly.
Then they led me to the buffet table. Another lovely presentation, with the tables laden with not only lots of food, and a whole lot of it, but also chocolate.
I mean CHOCOLATE. Chocolate candy in boxes, chocolate puddings, chocolate cookies, hot chocolate, chocolate lattes, chocolate cakes and chocolate cakes and chocolate cakes and .....................you get the drift by now, I am sure.
So we have our eating scheduled before the talk.
I am fourth in line at the buffet table. In front of me are three people who could use some SparkPeople.com. A dangerous position for me!
My three leaders begin ladeling food onto their plates. They are not shy about their portions.
I, on the other hand, decide to set an example, and begin with putting fruit on my plate and a quarter of a croissant turkey sandwich. I add a few raw veggies and some Dijonaisse for dipping. I am doing well.
Then I see the box of chocolates. OK. I will have one dark piece of chocolate. Add it to the plate.
Now I am staring at the biggest, tallest Death by Chocolate Cake you would ever see, and there is a piece cut, but no one has availed themselves to it.
Yep, you guessed it. To be "polite", I dump the huge piece onto my plate, where it overlapps the Dijonaisse. And the fruit, AND the raw veggies. When I say this piece was huge, I mean HUGE!!!
And so it begins.
Oh, another lovely box of chocolates, this one really gourmet chocolate. I will take that one pretty piece over there.
I daintily add it to my plate right next to the sandwich.
I am offered a chocolate latte. I am gracious enough to accept it, and am somehow too distracted to tell the server to leave off the chocolate whipped cream and chocolate shavings. Oh my. Well, can't be nasty and ask for a different one, what with all the work having gone into this latte!
I make it to my place and begin to eat the sandwich. Then I take a bite of the cake. Another bit of sandwich, followed by another bite of cake.
Remembering I have fruit on my plate, I take a grape. Then I take two grapes. They are really juicy and help wash down the chocolate.
fruit-oh now I can see a small carrot. I will just pop my carrot, which has been under the chocolate cake and now has chocolate on it too, in my mouth.
Have you ever tried a chocolate covered carrot? It works!!
Suddenly, or so it seems, there is only a few raw veggies and one piece of mango on my plate. They all have chocolate on them, too.
Waste not, want not. And after all, it is IMPORTANT to show appreciation for all the work done to present this lovely affair. The veggies and mango disappear, but not entirely. Only the parts that had chocolate on them go in my mouth.
The clean left over veggies are left on my plate when I give the plate up.
Now to relax and have that chocolate latte with the chocolate whipped cream and chocolate shavings on it. Yum Yum. I had eaten so fast that it didn't even get cold!
Oh, there is a prettily wrapped piece of candy, sitting there, just next to my latte. Well, ONE piece of chocolate isn't going to hurt, is it? I mean, it IS Dark Chocolate, after all.
Shovel it in. And that other pretty piece over there. Grab and shovel before someone else sees it.
I still have my little sampler box of chocolates to take home, for DH. I dutifully do not open that box, but I do open another prettily wrapped piece just sitting there on the table looking lonely and like a chocolate step-sister. My heart goes out to it, and I show mercy by jamming that into my mouth too.
Finally, all the plates are cleared away and it is time to begin the program.
I have a hard time focusing on what the MC is saying because there are chocolate spots in front of my eyes.
Then I realize I have just been introduced and have to get up.
Woosh! What a RUSH! The chocolate kicks in, and I have enough energy to roller skate up Mr. Rushmore.
My mouth opens, and words flow like warm chocolate.
I have no idea what I am taking about, but when I shut up after 20 minutes, I get a standing ovation.
I must have extolled on the virtues of eating chocolate, because they are all smiling and clapping and have tears running down their faces.
I sit down next to my table mate and ask if I made any sense at all.
She replies "That was the BEST talk about LOVE I have ever heard!"
What the heck did I say? I smile and say thank you to all who come to hug me or shake my hand.
I am positive now that I did indeed talk about the wonders of chocolate. Otherwise, what could have possible moved them so much??
Who knows. I was on a chocolate rush!
This week has got to be a real active week for me to prevent me being asked to be next year's Blimp.
Because that is where I was headed yesterday. I do not want to be a Blimp in Training, so I better get my butt off this computer and outside walking the tonnage off.
Oh. One more thing. I DID manage to not taste, sample or shovel any chocolate pie in!
See how WELL I did??