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    MARY831   11,922
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so done!


Saturday, February 13, 2010

I am so aggravated with myself. I did a wonderful thing today( at least I think its wonderful) I got out and walked with my daughter, two miles, mostly uphill. It was killer but felt so good! So why, in the back on my head is my little voice saying..."you didn't do it fast enough!" "you only made it two miles?" All things that I think are good to some extent to push me further but why can't I just let myself be happy that I got out and did it? I want to make it further, and faster and all that but for today I want to be proud of myself! So why is that so hard for me? Got together with friends I hadn't seen in awhile yesterday and they were asking what I was doing and telling me how good I looked and all I wanted to do was eat after that. I wonder what that is all about...somewhere deep inside of me I am afraid of becoming what I say I want to become. I need to push past the fear and become the best me I can be!
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WILD4STARS 2/14/2010 1:58PM

    What you focus on expands. So focus on the positive, let the negative go and there will come a time when it will come natural to do so. Two miles, mostly uphill is a postive, thinking that you should have done it faster is a negative. Don't "should" on yourself !!!

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PATSY142 2/13/2010 5:25PM

    I hear that voice also. Telling me that if I get what I want, I will be like I used to be. I don't want to be like I used to be. I want to be different and small. When I was small before, I did some things I'm ashamed of and I don't want to repeat them. That is my problem.

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GROOVYCHICK9 2/13/2010 4:54PM

    I hear that voice too. It sometimes comes when we are changing and it is afraid of us actually making it to our goals. I was there a couple of weeks ago when all this was newer. Just sit with it and realize that you have a choice: either go back to the way it was or stick with it. The voice either wins or not. It is all up to you. It takes a while to get your mind in the same place as your body is going only this time it will work for you.
Keep going.

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