Saturday, February 13, 2010
I am so aggravated with myself. I did a wonderful thing today( at least I think its wonderful) I got out and walked with my daughter, two miles, mostly uphill. It was killer but felt so good! So why, in the back on my head is my little voice saying..."you didn't do it fast enough!" "you only made it two miles?" All things that I think are good to some extent to push me further but why can't I just let myself be happy that I got out and did it? I want to make it further, and faster and all that but for today I want to be proud of myself! So why is that so hard for me? Got together with friends I hadn't seen in awhile yesterday and they were asking what I was doing and telling me how good I looked and all I wanted to do was eat after that. I wonder what that is all about...somewhere deep inside of me I am afraid of becoming what I say I want to become. I need to push past the fear and become the best me I can be!